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Heavy artillery being rolled out

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OPINION/SATIRE: The United States has announced that it will deploy thoughts and prayers in the battle against online extremism.

The move follows the United States' refusal to join 17 nations, the European Commission and eight top tech companies in signing the Christchurch Call To Action which commits them to fight the spread of terrorist and extremist content online.

A White House spokesman confirmed that the US had no intention now or in the future of signing up to the accord, adding that though there was an American diplomatic representative in the French capital at the time of the high level meeting he or she did not attend because they were "washing their hair or sorting their sock drawer, or some such".

"Or maybe there was a sale on at Galeries Lafayette. Or it was just a beautiful day to stroll down the Champs-Elysees. Ah, Paree! So many........

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