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Mort Laitner

Mort Laitner

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

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Another Brick in the Wall

The spirit of Annelies Marie Frank prances onto the Berlin stage. A sold-out Mercedes Benz Stadium roars. A giant inflatable pink pig balloon floats...

31.05.2023 40

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

May His Memory Be An Execration (Curse)

I sitting with Moshe at George & John’s. It’s one of Tel Aviv’s best restaurants. I’m sipping champagne, acting like a billionaire, when...

28.05.2023 20

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

We’re on the Eve of Destruction

The eastern world, it is explodin’ Violence flarin’, bullets loadin’ You’re old enough to kill but not for votin’ You don’t believe in...

25.05.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Theodor Herzl—Visionary of the State in Poem and Song

My ChatGPT experiment continues, as I move into the area of historical figures. And I could not think of a better gentleman to begin with than...

21.05.2023 10

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

A ChatGPT Poem on Why You Should Visit Israel

Come, wander through ancient lands of old, Where history’s tapestry beautifully unfolds, From Jerusalem’s streets, steeped in mystic charm, To...

19.05.2023 40

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Right-Wing Death Squads (RWDS) in America—Found on Patches and Hats?

I’m in the mall, taking a bagel break with my friend Jack. You see, for years, Jack’s been a Republican, a vocal Trump supporter, a viewer of Fox...

17.05.2023 50

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Chatty Gives Advice to the Donald

Chatty, I’m thinking about running for the presidency of the United States. But I recently lost a civil case in New York in which the jury found...

11.05.2023 50

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Love the Silence of the Morning – A Poem

“There is nothing like the silence of the morning,” my ears whisper to my brain. My empty coffee mug plays silently on the wooden table. A java...

04.05.2023 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

So I Asked ChatGPT to Write a Poem about the Times of Israel. Here’s What I Got.

So I asked ChatGPT to write a poem about The Times of Israel. Here’s what I got in just two seconds. (I clocked it.) Amidst the desert sands and...

02.05.2023 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Garbage in, Garbage Out – A Warning: Read ChatGPT’s Answers Carefully!

As a pot-smoking hippie in the ’60s, one of my favorite expressions was, “Garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO).  I realized that a lot of what my...

01.05.2023 80

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

ChatGPT Renders an Opinion on the Donald

For example, Trump faced backlash for his comments after the 2017 Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, where he stated that there were...

18.04.2023 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Modifications Commenced at Rikers (Satire)

Top Secret Memo —For Your Eyes Only To: The Mayor From: The Chief of Security at NYC Department of Corrections on Rikers Island Date:...

09.04.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Almost Famous

I met Jim and his wife, Elena, at the swimming pool of the Sheraton Hotel in Santiago, Chile. Having time and several bottles of cold Chilean beer to...

24.03.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Anti-Semitism in America—A Conspiracy or a Hidden Reality?

I watched the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC. I saw a segment where five acts of American anti-Semitism occurred within one week: A kid’s Holocaust...

19.03.2023 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

The Man in the Trench Coat

I examined the photograph of the man in the Nazi-style trench coat. It reminded me of coats worn by WWII German officers but without adornments or...

10.03.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Meatball Face Ron DeSantis Seeks His Revenge (Satire)

After Donald Trump vowed never to nickname Florida Governor Ron DeSantis “meatball Ron,” the Florida Governor has decided to take the following...

04.03.2023 80

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Son of a sharecropper

I remembered studying about these poor Southerners, black and white, who after the Civil War contractually bound themselves to the plantations they...

21.02.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

New Santos Resume Discovered (Satire)

George Santos you have pissed me off. And when I get pissed off, I get even. Just ask the people I’ve worked with at Yeshiva University (YU). ...

07.02.2023 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

J’Accuse…!

On January 9, 2023, I scrolled down FaceBook and read the following headline: “House Republicans Voted Against Fighting Nazis in the U.S. Military...

16.01.2023 50

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

A Scary Day

On January 6, 2021, I spent my day sitting on the edge my seat, in front of my TV, watching an insurrection. I sat in horror. And I prayed, “G-d,...

14.01.2023 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

A Book Review Wrapped Inside a Short Story

In my bed, I tossed, turned and listened to an audio book. My movements ceased at around 4:00 pm, when my iPhone and I rested on the same white downy...

07.01.2023 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

George Santos’ Mea Culpa (Satire)

The United States Capitol Building Washington D.C. January 3, 2023 Standing before a gaggle of journalists, Congressman George Santos...

31.12.2022 90

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Post Interviews Trump on Santos (Satire)

Post: Thank you President Trump for inviting us to this magnificent palace that you call Mar-a-Lago and for allowing the Post to get your opinions on...

29.12.2022 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

A Canary in a Coal Mine—A Hanukkah Story

As a seventh grader, I learned why coal miners carried caged canaries into their mine shafts. And what I learned made me feel sorry for these poor,...

23.12.2022 90

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Donald Puts Punim on Pushkas (Satire)

After the phenomenal success of his $99.00 NFT collection, the former president decides to put his mug on charity boxes. New York Post Monday...

20.12.2022 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Tam Tams

On Fridays at around 4:00 pm, I sit at my Hebrew school desk, watching Rabbi Goodman pour Coke into Dixie Cups and place a Tam Tam cracker into the...

18.12.2022 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Time After Time—The Story of My Street Corner

I’m driving in my car, listening to the radio, when Lois Gilbert comes on playing, “Time After Time” on her harmonica. She does this song...

16.12.2022 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

My ‘Times of Israel’ Blogger’s Report Card (Satire)

Many of my readers have inquired, “Mort, does the Times of Israel give you an annual report card?” “Of course, they do!” I replied. And...

13.12.2022 60

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Shame and Loyalty (Satire)

December 11, 2022 Dear Mort Laitner: Hanukkah sameach! My name is Abe Goldberg and you probably have never heard of me, but I’m the...

12.12.2022 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Art is life

May 13, 2016 I proudly posted the following blog: Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles “The Stairs” has been selected by the Near Nazareth...

05.12.2022 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Yamakopter Tells Kanye to Drop Dead (Satire)

Yamakopter, manufacture of the novelty kippah with a spinning propeller ($17.49) has dissolved its contractual relationship with Kanye West. ...

03.12.2022 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Bibi calls Trump’s soiree with Kanye and Fuentes a ‘mistake’

When Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel’s former and future Prime Minister, called former US President Donald Trump’s evening soiree with Kanye West and...

01.12.2022 80

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

Trump Breaks Bread with Our #1 Anti-Semite and Holocaust Denier (Satire)

This article, “Trump Breaks Bread with America’s Number One Anti-Semite and Holocaust Denier—Republican Silence Is Almost Deafening,” first...

30.11.2022 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

How Not To Get Your Mom to Stop Drinking the Kool-Aid (Satire)

Entering my mom’s Boca condo, I snuck over to the living room end table, picked up the remote and changed the channel from Fox to CNN. Since Mom...

26.11.2022 100

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

‘If’—A Writer’s Tale

“Moshe, how are you feeling this morning?” Even before I asked, I knew Moshe would complain about his back pain. He’d say, “It hurts when I...

22.11.2022 70

The Times of Israel (Blogs)

Mort Laitner

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