Two sisters approached me recently, asking if I could help them as they attempted once again to reconcile their estranged relationship. For most of their adult lives, Beth and Sarah (not their real names) had been close, calling each other every day, and even vacationing together over the years.

In their late thirties, however, they had a bitter falling out when an adolescent child decided to move out of her parents’ home and live with her aunt and uncle. The two families couldn’t agree on how to handle this rancorous situation; deep anger and resentment festered and ultimately shattered the relationship of the two sisters. Beth and Sarah had no contact for over 15 years.

Last December, the two agreed to have several sessions with a family counselor in an attempt to end their bitter estrangement. They aired old hurts, hurled accusations, and revisited painful memories. The result was disastrous.

“We stormed off after screaming at each other,” says Beth, “leaving the therapist stunned and a bit scared.”

“At the end of the session," Sarah reports, "I wished my sister well and told her I couldn’t give her what she was asking of me. I thought that was the end.”

But last month, Beth contacted me for help. When she explained their previous attempt to reconcile, I wondered if the two could find a way forward by circumventing the painful issues of the past. Could we create an........

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