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The Internet Is a Dark and Shameful Place, Week #856

“Smutstep” for “booktok”? Legal blow? Eel and horse erotica? No wonder the world wide web wants to annihilate us.

By Adam Christopher Smith

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Welcome to RATED AND SLATED, the column that is terminally online so you don’t have to be.

I’m quick to overestimate my own intelligence, but I wasn’t prepared for what would happen when I asked ChatGPT how smart I really am.

I wanted to know what percentile of intelligence I fall into compared to other AI users. I wanted the all-knowing machine to “be honest,” but it was just mean.

https://t.co/ATiUzrV2rD pic.twitter.com/zUeAa8JIf7— emerson (@emerson_toomey) October 6, 2026

https://t.co/ATiUzrV2rD pic.twitter.com/zUeAa8JIf7

I didn’t mind being told that “I wouldn’t put you at, say, the 99.9th percentile based on our conversations.” I can accept that I “don’t consistently exhibit the kind of extreme formal/mathematical abstraction abilities, painstaking logical derivation, or encyclopedic technical knowledge that would lead me to make that claim.”

But when it explained that the fact I was even asking this question meant there was something seriously wrong with my cognitive processes, and that I probably shouldn’t be trusted to use a computer unattended, I began to realize it was lying to me.

I don’t know how it reached that conclusion. I mean, the only thing I use a computer for is writing this column.

JUDGING #SPICYBOOKSTAGRAM BY ITS TERRIBLE MUSIC TASTE

Instagram reels just showed me a guy who makes 'smutstep' for the booktok crowd and it is the funniest thing I have ever watched pic.twitter.com/PKcCswSEDm— jaxonloid (@jaxonloid) October 5, 2026

Instagram reels just showed me a guy who makes 'smutstep' for the booktok crowd and it is the funniest thing I have ever watched pic.twitter.com/PKcCswSEDm

I’m sure Darq Dagr’s “smutstep” songs sound great if you still listen to early Skrillex and read Fifty Shades of Grey, but for anyone else, this will have you pulling out used tampons and sticking them in your ears.

GO WOKE OR… GO TO WAR

No fatties.No trannies. No beardos.No weirdoes.No wimps.No radicals — JUST WARRIORS. pic.twitter.com/mDktwOmn6F— Pete Hegseth........

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