YE Olde Christmas Enchanting Wonderland proved to be a bit of a mixed bag when it came to entertainment: the children loved it but I didn’t.

Part of the problem was that I kept seeing behind the curtain and, like the Wizard of Oz, the whole experience seemed to apologise like it had just been caught out.

Like when I saw two of the elves vaping at the back of the Xmas disco. They saw me back and skulked off behind the wall like they would be sacked if I told on them.

And feeding carrots to the reindeer was a glum affair; not just because there was only one reindeer - the rest were on a training mission in the Pyrenees - but the endless rain meant the farmyard was mud-soaked and all I could think about was how long it would take to clean the shoes when we got home.

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