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Fabien Mcquillan

Fabien Mcquillan

The Irish News

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There’s nothing as scary on Halloween night as an angry Genghis McCann

Eric, our mutt, hates Halloween. The fireworks have him demented: his face, normally so dull, is now erupting with sad and frightened expressions, the...

03.11.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

There’s no need to ‘hunt the chicken’ at a Tyrone children’s party

Having to go to a child’s party and hang around a stranger’s house for half a day small-talking is right up there. It’s tricky enough spending a...

26.10.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

As they say in Tyrone, losing your phone is nathin’ but a pure hanlin’

In Tyrone, when something goes wrong, they call it a hanlin’, as in a ‘handling’, or a dramatic episode. You could be embroiled in a bit of a...

20.10.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

The joys of being an Irish dancing daddy

I found myself alone in Dublin last weekend drinking a pricey coffee. Sitting outside on a crisp bright morning, I watched the world and his wife go...

12.10.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Give me a bottle of Baileys and I’ll tell you the meaning of life

Fionnuala, my wife, loves reading. I sometimes think she’s pretending because she reads so quickly, but every now and then she will leave a book at...

06.10.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Life moves pretty fast when you have an electric jeep

I’m a blow-in to Tyrone, and always will be, but a new blow-in has appeared and I have climbed the ladder an inch. He’s a bit of a hot-shot,...

28.09.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Yeah, you wheelie got me this time, guys

There’s a blue bin stand-off at the refuse department. I don’t know why, but they have reduced their service and I end up running to the dump...

22.09.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Would you Adam and Eve it – it’s the holiest family in Co Tyrone

There is a couple here who are holier than thou, attending more Masses than a politician at election time. Their nicknames are Adam and Eve. I don’t...

14.09.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

‘Cancun? The furthest Genghis has been on holiday is Coalisland’

We haven’t seen much of Genghis this last while as he has been courting an American woman who is besotted with him. I certainly don’t miss him but...

07.09.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Not all heroes wear capes – some prefer Subaru body-warmers

I‘ve been spending a fair amount of time on the M1 recently, running up and down to my lonely mother on the Antrim Road, which makes me feel lonely...

31.08.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Did you ever hear the story of the old man who lived in a hedge?

I really love libraries, and our local one is absolutely fine. I often go in and flick through books I would never buy, or read papers I would never...

18.08.2024 20

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Scam callers and misogynistic mechanics – just say no

Mrs Davison, Genghis’s neighbour, who had become an acquaintance of mine, had messaged to say she needed my help. “Just say yes.” Fionnuala was...

11.08.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

You look very fetching in your double denim, dear

Fionnuala announced that we were booked in for a family portrait and that we were to wear the same outfits, which I immediately railed against. “Are...

03.08.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

The devil’s agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?

“Can you do Genghis a favour?” Fionnuala and I were in the swimming pool balcony while the children were at a lesson. The muffled, echoey...

06.07.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

It’s Father’s Day at the Feis and I’m terrified

Imogen and Fiadh, aged seven and five respectively, woke me up on Father’s Day with a cup of coffee and a card. They then snuggled into the bed and...

22.06.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Workshop – the most chilling word in the English language

I had auditioned a while ago for the Bluepond Players’ production of Philadelphia Here I Come!, but only heard last week that I had got the small...

15.06.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Just when you think you’re out... they pull you back in

We have a GAA club in the village and everyone seems to be involved. Young, old and in-between, the pitch is a hive of activity in the summer, with...

09.06.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Daytime TV and unexpected daytime visitors

Fionnuala was at a Mass for the school that I had wriggled out of and I was gorging on daytime TV. Whilst no more superior to any-other-time TV,...

01.06.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

They’re clamping down on the car tax in Ballymena, hi

I had to go to Ballymena last week to pick up some tiles (Fionnuala wanted to improve the splashback situation at the hob) and decided to treat myself...

26.05.2024 40

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

When netting a bargain is more than you bargained for

There is a locally owned small supermarket in the town that Fionnuala likes to frequent – as much for the sumptuous salad section as the principle...

19.05.2024 30

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

‘Children need two things: a dog, and parents that’ll get them a dog’

We got our dog (Eric) because Imogen, our eldest, cried and cried about how she would forgo every Christmas and birthday present for the next 20 years...

05.05.2024 20

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Cycling lesson number one: The Clifts wait for no-one

The lighter evenings have brought brighter aspirations and thus the racer was turned upside down on the grass, cleaned, oiled and readied for its...

27.04.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

A rainy night in Galway and my famous black raincoat

I had to go drinking at Molly’s with the male members of my wife’s family last Saturday night. Her cousin Shane was getting married, and this was...

20.04.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Thou shalt not laugh during Mass, Fabien

I had mentioned last time that I had to read at Mass. It all went well and Fr Austin – I couldn’t bring myself to call him ‘Frosty’ to his...

14.04.2024 9

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Remembering St Patrick’s Day, when Fabien chased the rats out of Tyrone

I hadn’t meant to skip past St Patrick’s Day but I suppose I had to let a week or two pass before I could fully absorb all that happened....

07.04.2024 7

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Lay me down, in the hallowed ground, where my father waits...

Little Dermot was crying about the water not being warm in the bath and I had regretted not throwing him into the second-hand slops of Fiadh. “It...

23.03.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Love is... changing those Wranglers you’ve been wearing the last three months

Tyrone is springing awake again and all those shoots of new life have motivated my wife to find Genghis a woman. “Who in their right mind would want...

16.03.2024 7

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

If true guilt lies in the intention, then I’m guilty as sin

I haven’t been sleeping well these past few nights, tossing and turning, with lurid dreams jolting me awake. Voices from the past shouting my name...

09.03.2024 40

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Life in the country comes at you fast – like a pothole in the road

Growing up in Belfast during the Troubles was not something I ever thought deeply about but as I get older (and wiser), I reckon it may explain my...

02.03.2024 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Could my life just be a big TV series?

I was sitting in our little village café with the children when a familiar face peeked in the window and waved. It was Father Austin, our PP, and he...

26.02.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

When a bad hair day could turn out to be my lucky day

I have quite thin hair – not thinning just yet, but what you might call lank – and as a rule I always use a hair stylist. Tyrone women are great...

17.02.2024 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Float like a love-struck skunk, sting like a nettle tree

Imogen was pestering me the other day for her homework, asking for a memory of flowers. I simply couldn’t think of anything. Then I remembered the...

10.02.2024 5

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Hi Yo Silver! Getting back on the horse that bucked you

I have to say I am pretty au fait with the clothes horse (more and more I wonder was my past life just a dream) and because of the temperamental...

03.02.2024 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

In stormy Tyrone, good fences make good neighbours

In the countryside the winter is long and desolate, tamed only by a few days of joyous sunsets and crisp-white fields. Mostly though, the farm...

27.01.2024 9

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

They love their drama in Tyrone

HEN I was growing in up in Belfast there was very little talk of Tyrone. There was very little talk of anywhere – Belfast was, and is, like all big...

20.01.2024 9

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

The demon dentist of Co Tyrone

The people down here – no spoilers – are crazy about cars. The modern-day horse I suppose. And they love their number plates: SAM 03 TYR, OIL 444,...

17.01.2024 5

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Drink a cup of kindness this new year

I awoke on New Year’s Eve and wondered for a few moments why I was in a terrible mood. Then I recalled that we were going to Genghis’s that night...

06.01.2024 9

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

there's no wake like a Tyrone wake

EVERYONE in Tyrone loves cars.

09.12.2023 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

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