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Getting Divorced By 30 Teaches You A Lesson In Self-Worth

7 2 14

You’re reading Shout Out To Your Ex, our series on breakups, bouncing back, and why the end of a relationship can be the start of everything else.

Gracie Tyrrell was 24 when she met her ex-husband outside a nightclub in London. He seemed “really soft, quite the gentleman and had a chilled attitude towards everything”. By 28, they were married.

The fairytale relationship was not all it seemed, though, and by 30, she was divorced and asking herself: “Where the fuck do I go from here?”

“I felt every emotion possible, from anger, to hate, to regret. I even felt sorry for him,” she tells HuffPost UK. “My emotions were tested way beyond anything I could have ever imagined.”

Tyrrell, now 33, says the story of why she got divorced is long and complicated one. She worried about the stigma of being a young divorcee and threw herself into growing the snacks company she runs with her sister, Sophie, as a distraction. Seeing the business boom helped to restore her confidence, she says, and in time, she’s been able to learn from the experience of divorce.

She now describes it as “the greatest gift I could ever receive, a rare, life-changing opportunity to grow as a human being.”

“I used to think he was lazy, now I realise I was unable to relax,” she says. “I used to think he didn’t work hard enough, now I realise I was putting my personal expectations onto him.

“I used to feel angry when he didn’t message me, now I realise I was unable to fully trust. I used to think it was all his fault, now I realise I played a part too.”

Getting divorced by the age of 30 is less and less common, but mainly because getting married before 30 is no longer the norm. The number of marriages happening each year has steadily declined since the 1970s and at the same time, the age when couples tie the knot has increased.

The latest Office for National Statistics data shows that in 2018, the average age at marriage for opposite-sex couples was 38.1 years for men and 35.8 years for women. For same-sex couples, the average age was even higher, at 40.4 years and 36.9 years respectively. The most common age bracket for divorce was 45-49 for all.

This all makes being a young divorcee even more usual.........

© HuffPost

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