Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, yet this extremely common act remains poorly understood. We want to believe that having a "happy marriage" would protect us from infidelity. After all, affairs only take place in problematic relationships, right? While that is usually the case, I found that some of my clients in genuinely happy relationships cheated on their partner anyway. They said "It was just there, simple and easy. I was not looking for it." Or, "I could not control my urge and could not resist it." Or, "I don’t know what I was thinking and made a big mistake."

So, what is really going on here? How can a loving and faithful partner end up cheating anyway?

There are several potential reasons why people in happy relationships may have affairs:

In today’s world, there are more opportunities to meet potential affair partners due to work, travel, or social situations that can increase temptations. We can all relate to these explanations, especially when we understand the impact of our social and technological situation. More than ever, our technological advances make extramarital sex more accessible, cheaper, and easier. You can get it anytime and anywhere. The temptations are great and frequent, and the desire for immediate gratification amplifies.

Not always, but often the underlying issue of affairs in healthy relationships is low self-esteem,........

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