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John Boston | Biden Tours the SCV. And does a Buncha Stupid.

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25.09.2021

In the checkered career of alleged Lifeguard Joe Biden, he’s earned kudos for major accomplishments. Hair-sniffer. Pervert. Crook. Bully. Liar. Groper. Plagiarist. Surrender monkey. Dumber than underwear left in a vacant gorilla suit and pongier than a fine decanter of milk left open since 1946.

Recently, the Confused One made a whirlwind tour of the SCV. It lasted an hour. Flailing about with his usual Ape With Hand Stuck In Coconut panache, His Ineptness displayed an energy that could only be described as — Trumpesque.

Leader of the New American Kleptocracy, Creepy Joe and his civilization-destroying suits paid a top-secret working vacation (No. 611) to Santa Clarita, America’s flashpoint for racism, crime, hurt feelings, scenic paseos, a light-to-medium industry base, and, of course, more racism. Here’s a wrap-up on the one-hour visit:

9:01 A.M. — STEVENSON RANCH — Disguised FBI and DOJ staffers granted permission to rob various discount tennis shoe outlets along The Old Road. Left notes scribbled in crayon: “Trump Stole Your Children’s Shoes. Kill Him. Sincerely — NOT the FBI.” Some local random mommy joggers were rounded up and will be presented to the Clintons for human sacrifice at the next Hollywood Democrat fundraiser.

9:03 A.M. — HIGHWAY 126 — Finally, Biden and Bureaucrats Without Borders visited the border. Unfortunately? It was the Los Angeles/Ventura county border, just past Chiquita Landfill. “What’s all this malarkey about a crisis, pony soldier faces!?” yelled an angry president. “Where’s the Haitianites? Except for some CHP speed traps, there’s nothin’ out here!!” The president took a........

© Santa Clarita Valley Signal


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