The first days of the new year are the traditional time for making resolutions—we vow to eat or drink less, exercise more, be kinder to our friends and more forgiving to our enemies, and to be better people overall. I’ve got a long list of my own: read more books and fewer social media posts, practice a musical instrument every single day, write to friends more often, improve my down-the-line backhand, and do more experimenting with artificial intelligence. Come back in a year and we’ll see how I did.

Given the widespread perception that 2025 sucked, it follows that several world leaders and public figures would benefit from making some ambitious resolutions this year. I want to be helpful, so I decided to offer some New Year’s resolutions for global VIPs.

The first days of the new year are the traditional time for making resolutions—we vow to eat or drink less, exercise more, be kinder to our friends and more forgiving to our enemies, and to be better people overall. I’ve got a long list of my own: read more books and fewer social media posts, practice a musical instrument every single day, write to friends more often, improve my down-the-line backhand, and do more experimenting with artificial intelligence. Come back in a year and we’ll see how I did.

Given the widespread perception that 2025 sucked, it follows that several world leaders and public figures would benefit from making some ambitious resolutions this year. I want to be helpful, so I decided to offer some New Year’s resolutions for global VIPs.

U.S. President Donald Trump. I begin with the leader who most needs to improve. As a realist, I don’t expect a 79-year-old with a long and well-documented record of bad behavior to devote much (any?) time to becoming a better person, and recent trends aren’t encouraging.

But I do have one modest suggestion: stop posting on social media, or at least let Chief of Staff Susie Wiles screen them for you. Those unhinged rants on Truth Social may please the dwindling MAGA base, but you’re alienating swing voters, exposing your mental decline, and signaling to the rest of the world that the United States is led by a narcissist with zero impulse control. For your own good, put the damn phone down.

Russian President Vladimir Putin. There are a lot of suggestions I could offer you, but I’ll limit myself to two. First, do some more reading on modern nationalism to understand why Ukrainians don’t want to be ruled by Moscow and have fought like tigers to avoid that fate. You clearly have a good sense of how to appeal to Russian national sentiments, but you seem to have overlooked the fact that other societies have distinct identities of their own, even if they share some distant historical features with others. Granted, the tide of war is now running in your favor, but it has lasted nearly four years, the costs far exceed your initial expectations, and it will take Russia many years to recover.

Second, get someone to bring you up to date on the latest developments in AI, where Russia ranks 31st in some indexes. Even if you achieve most of your war aims in Ukraine, you are bequeathing to your successors a smokestack economy in an increasingly digital world. Hope........

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