Dear Janice,

I came home from nightshift last week and my wife was gone, and I don’t know who to turn to or where to start.

I thought she was out shopping but then I noticed most of her things were missing.

I know we’ve had a few rocky years and that my drinking hasn’t helped, but I didn’t think we were at this stage. She did nag constantly, but so does every wife so I never thought she was serious about most things.

I tried calling her, but she won’t answer, and her sister said she’d had enough and has moved on.

I know I’ve not been the best husband, but I’ve not been the worst either, so maybe she is going through a mid-life crisis.

Either way, how do I get her to come home and sort this mess?

JP.

Dear JP,

For many people, the start of a new year brings them the clarity to make decisions about where their lives are and what changes need to be made.

Something tells me your wife has been beating the same drum for a very long time, whilst you have buried your head in the sand. Her ‘nagging’ has finally stopped, and the silence will be deafening.

This isn’t her midlife crisis, but it is lifechanging crisis for you.

Perhaps her drastic action has been to shake you into reality, but I suspect she has simply decided that enough is enough.

Be honest, is your alcohol consumption an issue you’ve ignored? Contact www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk and speak to friends and family members who can give you an insight as to how they viewed your marriage, because your simplistic notion that it was OK because you’re not the worst husband, isn’t what’s going to bring your wife back.

I understand that you are lost and lonely and its sad that you find yourself in this position, but only you can fix your problems.

Lean on your friends for support, sort out your drinking and only then might there be any chance of your wife returning.

Good luck.

Dear Janice,

My friend is always putting me down, especially when we are in company. I’m told it is because she is jealous of me because I am prettier than her, but even if that is the case, there’s nothing I can do about it.

My other friends tell me to ignore her, but I’m fed up with it.

How can I get her to stop?

Michelle.

Dear Michelle,

Your friends are wrong. Why should you get the brunt of her condescending behaviour?

Play the long game. For the next few weeks, write down every nasty comment she makes. Note every time she brings you down, what she says, and how she makes you feel.

When the time is right, in public or in private, present her with your notes and walk away.

Her reaction will show you if she is a real friend.

Got a question for our agony aunt? Email askjanice@glasgowtimes.co.uk

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