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Steven Stosny

Steven Stosny

Psychology Today

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Guilt After Betrayal

Guilty feelings are pervasive, lurking beneath resentment, anger, or depression.

01.11.2024 30

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

I’m Disappointed, but I Love You

Disappointment doesn’t have to augur emotional divorce.

25.10.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Dark Side of Emotional Needs

The perception of “emotional needs” can make us manipulate, control, or abuse.

18.10.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Why Modern Love Relationships Are So Hard

Blame it on habits.

11.10.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Anger, Anxiety, Resentment, Stress, and Basic Humanity

04.10.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Threats to Basic Humanity

Personal Perspective: It’s not easy to be consistently humane these days.

27.09.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Self-Revealing Nature of Anger

It says more about us than whomever we're angry at.

20.09.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

When Love Turns to Contempt

Contempt puts relationships in the intensive care unit.

13.09.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

I Can’t Be Myself While You’re Yourself

Emotional reactivity can turn you into someone you’re not.

30.08.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Get the Partner You Most Want to Have

In the quest to get—and keep—a partner, this brief experiment might be revealing.

24.08.2024 30

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Core Vulnerabilities in Love

Attempts to avoid what we dread underlie most relationship conflicts.

16.08.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

A Case of Drilling Down on Feelings

In the sea of emotions, we drown on the surface and breathe in the depths.

09.08.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Drill Down on Feelings for Authenticity

All feelings are real, but not all of them express the authentic self.

02.08.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

A Case Study in Meaning and Purpose

A subset of depression results from lack of meaning and purpose.

26.07.2024 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Danger of Cognitive Biases in Relationships

Addressing biases and prejudices can improve your relationship and your life.

12.07.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Are You Stuck in Therapy?

It can happen even with the best of therapists.

05.07.2024 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Hopelessness of Ego Defense

Defending the ego tends to diminish hope.

21.06.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Control the Meaning of Your Life

It gets easier to create meaning from experience with practice.

14.06.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Building an Empowered Self Amid Identity Fluctuations

The self has stabilizing components as well as those more amenable to change.

07.06.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Choose Between Chains of Resentment and Halos of Value

If we don’t choose, resentment wins by default.

31.05.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

More Ways to Get Emotionally Stuck

Chronic resentment can suck us into victim identity.

24.05.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Three Ways to Get Stuck and What to Do About It

17.05.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Love, Responsibility, and Empowerment in Relationships

Relationships work best when these three are developed.

10.05.2024 70

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Matching Feelings, Attitudes, and Values

When feelings, attitudes, and values go together, life is better.

03.05.2024 30

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Blame the Dynamic, Not Your Partner

We either control relationship dynamics, or they control us.

26.04.2024 30

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Agency and Structure Within Us and Around Us

We can't improve structure without improving the agency.

12.04.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Relationship Value Guide for Couples Counseling and Self-Help

It’s hard to know what you want when focused on what you don’t want.

09.04.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Love and Temperament

The way you experience love depends on what it feels like to be you.

05.04.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Feeling Love in Loving Relationships

Overemphasis on the former can ruin the latter.

02.04.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Is Your Partner Selfish?

Believe it or not, we can make our partners less selfish.

26.03.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Compassionate Assertiveness and Behavior Change in Love

Do you try to negotiate, persuade, manipulate, or coerce?

12.03.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

After Couples Therapy

You don’t have to go back to square one.

09.03.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Self-Interest and Humane Values

Choosing to act on just one or the other fails in the long run.

05.03.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Self-Value in Kindness

To like yourself better, be kind.

02.03.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Principles of Hope and Meaning

Just understanding them increases hope and meaning.

23.02.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Link Between Meaning, Purpose, and Burnout

Without meaning and purpose, burnout is inevitable—at work or in relationships.

16.02.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Well-Being in the Autopilot Brain

When we have to reflect on well-being, it’s sometimes too little, too late.

06.02.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Self-Deception Can Drive Us Crazy

Fooling ourselves is easy but costly.

30.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Emotional Pain: Imprisonment or Transcendence?

Humans did not evolve an internal punishment system.

17.01.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Bright Side of Mistakes

The path to success is lined with many small mistakes and a few big ones.

12.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Prevent Anger Escalation

To put out the fire, we need to turn off the gas.

09.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Madness of Labels

The use of labels in a complex, high-stress world furthers cultural divisions.

05.01.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Why I Apologized to My Computer

The only way to change a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.

02.01.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Authenticity, Commitment, and Connection

These must play in harmony for love to thrive.

19.12.2023 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Entitlement, Anger, and Emotion Reciprocity

These are linked emotions and interactive processes.

15.12.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Discover Love Without Hurt

First, change the childhood echo, “It hurts when I try to love.”

12.12.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Widen Your Perspectives for a Better Future

Don’t fear a better life.

08.12.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Own Your Mind Space

Evict all squatters.

05.12.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

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