I can't tell you how many times I have thought about wanting a "mommy makeover."

It's a surgical procedure that attempts to return a woman's body to its pre-baby shape and often includes a tummy tuck, a breast lift or augmentation, and liposuction.

The procedure isn't cheap. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons estimates it costs at least $20,000. The recovery is extensive.

But the desire to look (and feel) the way I did at 25 years old is strong – especially now, in an era when it seems like everyone is taking a GLP-1 medication and looking slimmer than ever. I have wondered if the procedure might be worth the financial and emotional cost – if the benefits outweigh the risks.

In at least one recent case, they didn't.

A Cincinnati mom just wanted to look and feel good

A TikTok mom of three died on March 17 after complications from a abdominoplasty she had on Feb. 25. Rachel Tussey, a 47-year-old resident of suburban Cincinnati, just wanted to look and feel good.

On March 3, Tussey's husband posted on TikTok that, while the initial surgery was successful, his wife took a downturn and she was left brain-dead. He blamed excessive pain medication and staff incompetence.

"Somebody dropped the ball and killed my wife," he said, eventually making the heartbreaking decision to remove her from life support.

The doctor who performed the surgery said he was "heartbroken."

Tussey's tragic death underscores the sobering reality of the pressure that women − especially moms − put on themselves, often from society, to look and feel young, fit and just like they did before they had babies.

It's normal for moms to want to look and feel good

Tussey had been excited about her surgery, posting regular updates and documenting her journey leading up to the tummy tuck.

Abdominoplasty, according to the Mayo Clinic, is a surgery that removes extra skin and fat from the abdomen. The result is hopefully a firmer, smoother and more toned tummy.

On Feb. 13, Tussey posted about having lost 20 pounds and talked about the importance of eating healthy in her 40s. In an October post, Tussey described using pharmaceuticals to help her with weight loss, saying, "GLP-1s help me." She often talked about her age and being empowered at midlife − "Over 40 & fabulous," her TikTok page reads.

I was trim and athletic all throughout high school, college and even after giving birth to my first two babies. Over time, it became more and more difficult to bounce back after having babies, especially the last two births. Things really shifted when I hit 40. I hate to blame an aging metabolism, but it sure felt like it's been harder to stay slim.

Unrealistic beauty standards hurt moms

There are also powerful social pressures that fuel this desire, often rooted in unrealistic beauty standards.

These expectations push women to erase visible signs of aging, whether through plastic surgery or less invasive treatments like Botox, all in pursuit of smooth skin, lifted features and a perpetually youthful appearance. The widespread influence of people like the Kardashian women, along with their openness about undergoing cosmetic procedures, underscores just how normalized and aspirational these standards have become.

It doesn't just affect famous people, either. According to the International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, in 2022, the United States led the world in the number of procedures performed, with more than 7.4 million.

Although I haven't had plastic surgery, I can relate to the longing for a more toned stomach. In fact, I don't know a mom in midlife who doesn't talk about trying to stay slim, age well and look great. Most women I know in their 40s and 50s already put tremendous pressure on themselves to look like they did in their 20s. I know several people who have undergone cosmetic or surgical procedures to achieve this.

As Ozempic and GLP-1s have taken over Hollywood, it seems like everyone who once struggled to be thin has achieved this quickly and with minimal effort (though apparently, the side effects are brutal). I've even considered that route, but so far, I don't feel it's right for me.

I don't blame Tussey for doing a mommy makeover. The fact that she died from complications of doing a procedure so she could look and feel good − whether she felt pressure from society or herself − is tragic.

Aging is a fact of life, but also a privilege; not everyone gets to grow old. It's not a license to be unhealthy, but pressuring women to feel they must constantly alter their bodies with procedures and surgeries just to have value is sad.

I wish we as a society could learn to love and appreciate women as they age, not just for their outer beauty, but for their character and inner beauty, too.

Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.

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