The Importance of Empathy

Take our Empathy Test

Find a therapist near me

Responding to tragedy with responses like “that’s so sad” can lower personal and systemic accountability.

Ignorance of world history hinders our ability to contextualize issues and take transformative action.

Denial, detachment, and neglectful responses show a lack of empathy, accountability, and conscientious action.

What makes a person respond to tragic events, whether past or present, with detached responses?

Comments like “that’s so sad” lower personal and systemic accountability because they tend to seem insincere and performative. In contrast, responding with specificity and a willingness to offer empathy and support can demonstrate actual care and concern. If you were impacted by a tragic event, would you want to hear someone simply say “that’s so sad”?

"So sad" can be used as a slang term to describe something really disappointing or unfortunate. Depending on the context and phrasing, it can often be used sarcastically to express a lack of empathy or sympathy regarding a tragic event where the situation seems hopeless and depressing. It can also be used to give the pretense of concern and empathy without actually having to demonstrate care and concern.

These responses and associated behaviors are a form of denial and neglect that stems from the discomfort and often inner guilt we feel when hearing about tragic events. Particularly when those events involve a failure to be concerned or systemic injustice that we may care little about. On social media, this phrase is often used to make it seem like a commenter cares while removing the person from taking any real action towards advocacy or a solution.

When "so sad" is used in a detached way to avoid concern or action, or by suggesting obliviousness to a systemic injustice, it carries little weight without specificity. Here’s where understanding and learning the background and details can be beneficial. This way, when we encounter a post in our feed, an online article, a podcast, or a news report about a tragic event, our response might not be limited to “that’s so sad.” Instead, we can express genuine concern that aligns with engagement and empathy for those impacted by the event. For some empathetic individuals and groups, the comment or response will be accompanied by advocacy and action. This may initially be because they or someone they care about is caught up in the situation. Then later, their commitment to care and concern could inspire advocacy and action.

Developing Empathy While Reducing Denial, Neglect, and Negativity Bias

The phenomenon of negativity bias significantly influences how we perceive and react to events. This cognitive tendency leads negative events to dominate our thoughts, resulting in a more vivid recollection of such events and their impact on our decision-making. As a result, individuals may respond with a superficial form of sympathy, expressing sorrow over negative outcomes while remaining indifferent to the deeper issues at play.

Learning about and developing a practice of empathy—the ability to understand and share the feelings of others—allows individuals to connect on a deeper emotional level. It involves actively putting oneself in another person’s situation and experiencing their emotions and perspectives. This skill strengthens relationships, essential for effective communication in both personal and professional settings. By cultivating empathy, we can create a more understanding and supportive society, where individuals feel valued, heard, and understood.

People prioritize indulgence in political rhetoric or obedience to religious beliefs over the critical task of unlearning historical myths and embracing the painful truths of our past. A commitment to understanding these realities can illuminate the complexities of current global events, making them far more comprehensible. A willingness to understand context and respond with specificity gives you a more concise and empathetic response when someone shares a tragic event or experience.

The Importance of Empathy

Take our Empathy Test

Find a therapist near me

One of our earlier posts offers guidance on thoughtful responses and choosing the right words.

ASALH. (2023). The Origins of Black History Month. Asalh.org. https://asalh.org/about-us/about-black-history-month/

Elias, A. (2024). Racism as neglect and denial. Ethnic and Racial Studies, 47(3), 483-505. https://doi.org/10.1080/01419870.2023.2181668

FastSlang. (2026). So Sad, Slang Meaning and Examples. FastSlang.com https://www.fastslang.com/so-sad

Mohn, E. (2024). Negativity bias. EBSCO Information Services, Inc. https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/social-sciences-and-humanities/…

Simon, J.J. (2023). Why do we engage (and keep engaging) in tragic and sad stories? Negativity bias and engagement in narratives eliciting negative feelings. Interdisciplinary Science Reviews, 48(3), 460-463. doi:10.1080/03080188.2023.2193800

There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.

By submitting your information you agree to the Psychology Today Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

© Psychology Today