What Is Perfectionism?

Take our Perfectionism Test

Find a therapist near me

Perfectionists hold themselves to a standard they often can't even articulate.

Fixating on some failure or rejection, they fail to see their unwillingness to accept any sort of failure.

Love helps curtail the perfectionist's seemingly infinite desire for more.

Noted psychoanalyst Don Carveth wrote, “The point of analysis is to get over yourself.” While we often think of therapy as a support system, which it is to an extent, it doesn’t merely aid self-esteem; good therapy helps curtail pride as well. Consider the implicit demands of what people tend to complain about. We’re heartbroken over disapproval, breakup, failure, and loss, some of which is obviously more objectively meaningful. We bemoan unfairness. And we feel as though we can’t live without what we can’t have. The point, if there’s one that sums up the entire endeavor of therapy, is to cultivate the resolution to integrate an understanding of your personal limitations, some of which are obviously going to be applicable to all of us.

Perfectionists, in particular, immensely struggle with accepting limits, both internal and external, which, to them, signify internal ones. While undoubtedly struggling with self-esteem, they hold themselves to a standard that often can’t be articulated; we only hear it in bits. A perfectionist may fear being disliked by a partner’s friend group or worry about appearing incompetent in some sport.........

© Psychology Today