What Is Perfectionism?

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Perfectionism is a form of masking, used to hide vulnerability.

Perfectionists often enter treatment to become their ideal selves yet struggle with revealing their flaws.

Perfectionists struggle with self-focused anger, which is often redirected toward others.

Vulnerability and perfectionism are diametrically opposed. And that’s what perfectionists prefer. If we consider the idea of masking as it relates to autism and acknowledge that perfectionism is pronounced in the population of people on the autism spectrum (Greenaway et al. 2010), then we can, arguably, think of perfectionism as a form of masking, of social protection. Deeper, most perfectionists wish to do more than just mask; they strive to become completely different people.

One of the more challenging aspects of therapy is self-disclosure and acceptance, likely even more difficult than change. Perfectionists enter treatment to better align with their ideal selves. Chronically fatigued by endless masking, a good number of them wish to become who they pretend to be, something the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates recommended as well.

While that is seemingly a reasonable aspiration, their needs are buried but never forgotten. Perfectionists tend to present as independent, self-assured, and driven. They disdain anything weak, needy, and, most important, human. Therapy then becomes another aid for self-delusion (even if its articulated goals conflict with that reality), reflecting the........

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