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Obsessiveness is about proving oneself, whereas love is about mutuality.

Obsessives seek out the best prizes, believing they'll finally prove their value in a way that's obvious.

Rather than pure escapism, love is about addressing difficult emotions constructively.

A question frequently asked in treatment: “What’s the difference between love and obsession?” The former is thought to be pure and meaningful, and the latter to be pathological. Clinically, obsessiveness is defined by intrusive thinking, extreme anxiety, and mental and physical acts meant to silence (or suppress) the thoughts and feelings. I’m sure that sounds like romantic love to you. A fixation on an object, followed by the uncertainty of reciprocity, what we call limerence, and the desperate need to resolve it by searching for hints of affection. Both obsessiveness and love can be exciting, even if distressing, and both can feel as though they’re expressions of short-term suffering for long-term gratification.

Ultimately, in a way, both feel and are often considered to be good. Yet, both are just as often founded on black-and-white thinking. Arguably, then, obsession can be mistaken for love—love’s black-and-white form just being obsession in disguise. Most people think of obsessiveness in the context of germs and other common fears. While it exaggerates everyday worries, it also finds its way into philosophical, or deeper, issues. It provides answers to: Can I overcome my fear of death? Can I feel like my life........

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