The Fundamentals of Sex

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Sex changes as we age—and for many couples, it stops altogether.

Aging, hormones, stress, childbirth, illness, body image, and life phases can all affect sexuality.

Sexless couples can learn how to be sexual again by rewriting their sexual story.

This post is Part 5 in a six-part "Marriage 911" series on the top relationship problems.

“Dr. Cheryl, our sex drive, our bodies, and our desire have all changed. Help!”

Sex and aging. Let’s talk about it. Because the truth is, we are all getting older.

I myself am turning 63 this month. And let me be very clear: That does not mean sex has to stop. It does mean sexuality changes.

Your body changes. Your desire changes. Your arousal changes. Your body image may change. What used to feel easy, spontaneous, and reliable may now feel confusing, frustrating, painful, unpredictable, or just… gone.

But please hear me: Do not give up.

Sexual Changes Are Not Just for “Older” Couples

You may be thinking, “Well, this does not apply to me yet.”

Not so fast, my younger friend.

Sexuality can shift at any age.

So whether you are in your 30s with young children, your 50s and navigating menopause, or in your 70s wondering whether sensuality still belongs to you, this conversation matters.

When Bodies Stop Cooperating

Let’s cut to the chase. For men, aging can bring changes in erection quality. Maybe the erection is softer. Maybe it does not last long enough for intercourse. Maybe penetration becomes unreliable. And because so many people define sex as intercourse, this can feel like failure.

But it is........

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