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The funniest thing that could ever happen in American politics, however improbable, remains possible.

In fact, it remains possible enough that California Democrats have begun to squirm a bit.

According to The New York Times, Democratic candidates for California’s governorship have turned on each other in the wake of an open letter from California Democratic Party Chair Rusty Hicks urging the weakest of the candidates to withdraw from the race, rather than strengthen the candidacies of two front-running Republicans.

Yes, you read that correctly: two front-running Republicans in California.

At the core of the problem for Democrats lies the state’s open primary, which allows the top two finishers, regardless of party, to advance to the general election.

Remarkably, the latest polls show the only two viable Republican candidates prevailing over an enormous field of mediocre Democrats.

For instance, the latest RealClearPolling aggregate gives the advantage to Fox News contributor Steve Hilton with 15 percent support. Fellow Republican Chad Bianco, sheriff of Riverside County, came in just behind Hilton at 14.3 percent.

From there, a lengthy list of awful Democrats followed. Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell of California, best known for public flatulence, ranked third with 12 percent support. Former Democratic Rep. Katie Porter, who went viral last year for her unhinged outbursts, ranked fourth at 11.3 percent. A third Democrat, billionaire activist Tom Steyer, came in fifth at a mere 9 percent.

After Steyer, it was a long way down to former Health and Human Services Secretary Xavier Becerra at 4.7 percent. Meanwhile, “Other” — an amalgam of nearly a half-dozen Democrat longshots — gobbled up the remaining 8.1 percent combined support.

Thus, on Tuesday, Hicks published an open letter to the longshots.

“Despite the ongoing chatter, the likelihood of two Republicans effectively ‘locking out’ California Democrats from the contest for Governor in the General Election is relatively low,” Hicks wrote. “However, while it is implausible, it is not impossible and I know we are collectively committed to taking the steps required to avoid that possibility.”

“Therefore,” he added, “with the filing deadline approaching this Friday, March 6th, and the Primary Election quickly following, it is imperative that every candidate honestly assess the viability of their candidacy and campaign.”

In other words, fellow Democrats, if you have no chance, then take one for the team. Get out of the race. Otherwise, the unthinkable could happen.

To put it mildly, the long-shots did not appreciate the top-down manipulation of the California gubernatorial election.

Moreover — being Democrats and all — they injected race into the question.

Tony Thurmond, California State Superintendent of Public Instruction and a black man, accused Hicks of “essentially telling every candidate of color” to withdraw, according to the New York Times.

Meanwhile, former Los Angeles Mayor and former state Assemblyman Antonio Villaraigosa insisted that Becerra, a fellow Latino, should withdraw. Villaraigosa also announced $2.1 million in new spending on a television ad.

To their credit, California Republicans wasted no time capitalizing on their rivals’ squabbles.

Corrin Rankin, the first black woman to serve as chairwoman of the California Republican Party, highlighted Thurmond’s complaint and, in a message directed toward minority Democrats, accused Hicks and the state Democrat leadership of “ordering every candidate of color to drop out for your three establishment favorites:” Swalwell, Porter, and Steyer — all white.

Democrats, of course, do have a recent history of crowning their candidates rather than allowing voters to choose them. The notorious “coup” against former President Joe Biden in July 2024, resulting in the underwhelming (to put it mildly) then-Vice President Kamala Harris receiving the party’s presidential nomination without having to campaign for it, leaps to mind.

In the end, of course, Democrat officials will rig the primary in their favor. An unfathomable nincompoop like Swalwell or Porter will cruise to a general election victory. Then, party leaders and their brainwashed voters will prattle on about “democracy.”

Meanwhile, at least we can cheer on the long-shots while dreaming and laughing about the funniest possible outcome.

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