Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

The Subtle Signs You’re Already in a ‘Silent Divorce,’ According to Therapists

Therapists say a silent divorce can look like roommate behavior, fading intimacy, and emotional withdrawal.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

Most couples who end up in a silent divorce never saw one coming. That’s the thing about it—there’s no affair, no screaming match, no moment of reckoning. Just two people who got very good at running a household together and somewhere along the way forgot they were supposed to be more than that.

Therapists call it a silent divorce, and it’s more common than the term implies. Lisa Lavelle, a licensed clinical social worker and couples therapist in New York City, told CNN that she sees it regularly—couples who look functional from the outside but have quietly checked out of each other. “One of the first red flags that I tend to see when couples are on the verge of or in a silent divorce is when they feel more like roommates than romantic partners,” she said.

Sex and relationship psychotherapist Miranda Christophers, founder of The Therapy Yard, told HuffPost UK that the slide accelerates after children arrive, or when work and........

© Vice