In this post analyzing complex layers of an issue in our community, and calling for nuance, I’m going to start with an absolute:

The get is not, and should never be, a bargaining chip. Full stop.

Raphi Stein needs to give Adeena Kohn a get. Right now.

Ok, now let’s get into it. And stay with me, I promise I’ll get there. 

The Jewish marital system was instituted centuries ago, and yes, it was progressive for its time. The ketuba tried to protect women when they had no agency in society. But “for its time” is the operative phrase. The ketuba was born when women were trafficked as pawns in political dynasties.

Baruch Hashem, we believe that Torah and Halacha are mayim chayim—a running stream that is timeless and flowing. And we know that “Lo Bashamayim Hi”, that it is up to us to interpret how the infinite morality of God’s laws translate to life on earth.

There are halakhic solutions to solve the Aguna crisis: Bittul kiddushin, Tnai kiddushin, Get al tnai, prenups, postnups, and other mechanisms. The saying is true: when there is a rabbinic will, there is a halakhic way. We see this constantly, like selling our chametz to circumvent the prohibition against owning whiskey on Pesach.

So the question isn’t whether solutions exist. It’s why we refuse to use them.

Six years ago, I spent nine months working in the ‘Aguna-verse’—for an organization trying to solve the aguna crisis. I didn’t last long in that job, but it left a lasting mark on me. 

I met countless women chained to recalcitrant husbands, their lives suspended, their agency stripped away. And I realized that until we name the real root of the problem, the solution will always be reactive and incomplete. 

The problem isn’t Jewish divorce. The problem is Jewish marriage.

The Architecture of Unequal Power

The mechanism of kiddushin—the Jewish marriage ceremony—is built on a foundational imbalance. The husband acquires the wife. Literally, in the language of Halacha.

From the moment the bride accepts the ring, the couple starts on an uneven playing field.  Her husband halachically ‘owns’ her, and she cannot leave without his permission. (Yes, there are female gett refusers, who refuse to accept a gett. But there are halachic mechanisms to allow men their freedom, that surprise surprise, are much more easily attained and accepted)

 And well, if you hand an abuser the legal and religious tools with which to abuse…. you get an Aguna crisis.

The intricacies and venues of the crisis vary from place to place. In the USA, the system relies on your communal loyalty, on which Bet Din and what Rabbi you follow; communities ignore seruvim far too........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)