Recently, I was at a tasteful country wedding, witnessing a glowing bride drift down the aisle. She was, like brides tend to be, beautiful. But as she passed by, I noted that there was something extra special about her.

Her dress was classic yet playfully irreverent. The choice of a processional song was romantic but unexpected. Giggling conspiratorially between her parents, one linked neatly to each arm, she seemed sweetly nervous but not at all overwhelmed.

Credit: Dionne Gain

After the vows, I stood with old friends enjoying a selection of wines that none of us had the cash nor taste to provide ourselves. As the sun set – perfectly timed to softly light official photos – one of them turned to me and asked: “What is it about these people? They all look so … comfortable.” Despite weddings rarely being locations of comfort and ease, I knew what he meant.

The event, like the bride, had a feeling of relaxed effortlessness. I knew the happy couple had laboured over details (and expenses) for months. But outwardly, there was no sense of strain. It was as if, buried deep in their primordial brains, they instinctively knew how to exist on days like this.

“Are they rich?” my friend pressed.

“No, it’s not that,” I replied. “They’re raised right.”

To be brought up with money, power, beauty and social status are advantages few of us are lucky to have. But to be “raised right” is a scarcer and, honestly, more valuable privilege.

It’s hard to describe exactly what it means to be raised right. The title moves beyond parenting styles, bank balances, education levels or personal connections. Rather, it speaks to an ineffable combination of taste, security, love, creativity, stability and some other elusive elements that I don’t know because I have never felt comfortable in my life.

QOSHE - How do you know if you were ‘raised right’? I’ve always felt like I’m missing something - Wendy Syfret
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How do you know if you were ‘raised right’? I’ve always felt like I’m missing something

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08.05.2024

Recently, I was at a tasteful country wedding, witnessing a glowing bride drift down the aisle. She was, like brides tend to be, beautiful. But as she passed by, I noted that there was something extra special about her.

Her dress was classic yet playfully irreverent. The choice of a processional song was romantic but unexpected. Giggling conspiratorially between her parents, one linked neatly to each arm, she seemed sweetly nervous but not at all........

© The Sydney Morning Herald


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