Workplace romances can change how coworkers interpret trust, loyalty, and influence.

Even fair decisions may look questionable when one partner has more power at work.

Coworkers may communicate less openly when they fear information will travel between partners.

Two colleagues start dating. They keep things professional: No flirting in meetings, no obvious favoritism, and no change in performance. From their perspective, nothing at work has really changed.

Everyone else may see it differently.

Workplace romance is usually perceived as a private decision between two adults. Advice focuses on whether the couple should tell HR, if they should keep the relationship private, or what might happen if they break up. These are reasonable concerns, but they overlook something important: A workplace romance also changes how other people interpret the social environment around them.

The third party in a workplace romance

Research by Rebecca Chory and Hailey Gillen Hoke found that people involved in workplace romances tended to underestimate how negatively coworkers perceived the relationship. The gap was especially noticeable when the relationship involved people at different levels of the organizational hierarchy.

So while a couple can genuinely believe they are behaving professionally, their coworkers may subtly change how they interact with them.

Imagine that Maria and Daniel work on the same team. Before they start dating, another colleague might feel comfortable telling Maria, “Daniel really mishandled that client meeting.” Once everyone knows Maria and Daniel are together, a comment like this becomes more complicated. Will Maria tell Daniel? Will Daniel take it personally? Will criticizing one partner affect that colleague’s relationship with the other?

Maria does not actually have to repeat the conversation for the dynamic to change. The possibility that information might travel differently can be enough to make coworkers more cautious.

Chory and Hoke found that when coworkers attributed career-related motives to a workplace romance, trust declined. That lower trust was associated with less honest and less accurate communication with the people involved.

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