Take our Dementia Test

Find a therapist to help manage stress

Caregiver grief is a common experience.

Avoiding judgment about feelings is important.

Sharing feelings between caregiver and care receiver brings them closer.

Social supports, including caregiver support groups, help normalize grief.

The main reason that Willa isolated herself while caring for her disabled husband, Dan, who was paralyzed from a massive stroke, was that she was afraid all her emotions would spill out if anyone asked her how she was doing. It was easier for her to buck up and face her long, difficult days without “going there.” But as the months of caregiving became years, Willa began to find she could no longer control her feelings.

When a police officer pulled her over after she’d rolled through a stop sign, she began to cry and couldn’t stop. He became so frustrated that he just gave her a warning, but even then, she couldn’t stop wailing. A dam had broken. It took her a half hour to calm down enough to go home and appear composed for Dan.

On another occasion, when Dan spilled water all over himself, she watched herself blow it out of proportion, unable to stop berating him for being so clumsy. Later when she was calmer, she apologized to him again and again but felt she’d never forgive herself for yelling at him.

Like many caregivers, Willa felt overwhelmed by the intensity of her complex emotions. She also felt tremendously ashamed about being overwhelmed, as........

© Psychology Today