When Grief Changes a Family, Does Distance Mean Love Is Lost?
Take our Depression Test
Find a therapist to heal from grief
Family members respond to loss in different ways, sometimes creating tension or distance in relationships.
Healthy families allow room for individuality and changing needs without losing relationship significance.
Meaningful support comes from being present, listening, and allowing loved ones to grieve in their own way.
When a family member dies, we may imagine the surviving family members leaning on one another, sharing memories, and finding comfort in their common loss. This doesn’t always happen, as grief doesn't always bring families closer. In some cases, it creates more distance between the people who might understand our loss best.
In Hallmark's "A Season of Promises," sisters Heidi and Sophie have grown apart following their mother's death four years ago. We see their obvious differences while we watch a home video from 30 years ago. Viewers may expect the sisters to have their issues, but we soon learn that they no longer interact after the death of their mother. They reach out to one another only after their father, Ed, experiences a health scare. After realizing how alone he is, they decide to help him find love again while also encouraging him to seek out grief support.
While the movie follows their matchmaking efforts, its more interesting story is about what happens to family relationships after a significant loss. It portrays three family members who experienced the same loss and who are grieving in three very different ways.
When One Loss Changes Every Relationship
The death of a family member doesn't simply remove one person from a family. Instead, it changes the relationships among everyone who remains. Family systems theory suggests that families are interconnected systems. When something happens to one member, the effects ripple throughout the family. The loss of a parent, for example, may change how siblings interact, how responsibilities are distributed, and how family members understand their new roles. Family members grieve not only the person who moved on but also the role they no longer occupy.
The Double ABC-X model of family stress can also help explain why some families struggle following a loss.........
