What Is This 'Alpine Divorce' Term Seen on TikTok?
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An "alpine divorce" is when your partner abandons you in some kind of remote outdoor setting.
Someone might abandon you in a tough situation if he or she lacks empathy or emotional self-regulation.
Avoid situations where an alpine divorce may happen, especially if you don't know your partner well.
An "alpine divorce" may sound like the ending of some kind of richy-rich marriage on the ski slopes. But people on TikTok have been using this term to describe what was posted by @EverAfterIya on February 18. This post has already garnered more than 19 million views and featured a woman walking on a rocky outdoor trail, weeping, and calling it "The worst Saturday of my life." Text overlaying this video also stated, "POV: you go on a hike with him in the mountains but he leaves you alone by yourself and you realize he never liked you to begin with."
What Is an 'Alpine Divorce'?
Yeah, abandoning someone on a hike is usually not a sign of like. The trail to this "alpine divorce" term seemed to originate from a short story with the same name, "An Alpine Divorce," written by Robert Barr in 1893. You could say that this really set the Barr on a mountain of grisliness as the tale featured a man planning to murder his wife while they traveled through the Swiss Alps.
An alpine divorce has since become a moniker for the abandonment of a partner in some kind of remote outdoor setting. This typically spells the end to whatever relationship might have been there. After all, it's kind of difficult to later say, "I really care for you except for the fact that I may leave you in danger."
The @EverAfterlya post prompted others to share what they described as their own alpine divorce experiences. In fact, one comment indicated, "There’s a name for this, alpine divorce. This happens frequently enough that there’s a support group for survivors." And just last month, mountaineer Thomas Plamberger was found guilty of gross negligent manslaughter after leaving his girlfriend, Kerstin Gurtner, on Austria's highest peak, Grossglockner mountain, where she froze to death, as reported by The New York Times.
Why Would Anyone Do an 'Alpine Divorce'?
If you're wondering why the heck someone would abandon a person in such a way, you probably have what's called empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel for others beyond just yourself. Empathy allows you to understand how badly you are going to make someone feel and how much danger you might put that person in by leaving him or her in a tough situation. We're talking about any tough situation, whether it is on a mountain or hiking trail or any other circumstance where he or she is depending heavily on you for some reason.
Not everyone has such empathy, though. Without enough empathy, folks can let their self-centered emotions and motivations dominate their decision-making. When the going gets tough, they can simply say, "Tough luck," to you and disappear.
Additionally, some people may lack emotional control. They can let their anger, disdain, or some other negative emotion override their common sense and courtesy—leading to impulsive decision-making. If this is the primary driver for the alpine divorce, though, such folks are more likely to express sincere regret once they calm down and then try to subsequently remedy the situation.
What You Should Do Instead of an 'Alpine Divorce'
If you are thinking of leaving someone in the lurch, search. Search for a better way, no matter how frustrated you may be with him or her. Search for a way to regulate your emotions. After all, do you really want to be responsible for causing harm to that person?
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Rather than quickly exit stage left, try to exit in the right way. That means reverting to the higher ground, figuratively. Realize that you don't want to hurt anyone. Table any disagreement that you may have. Emphasize the importance of first getting both of you out of danger and to a safe location or situation before doing anything else.
If it looks like someone is going to alpine divorce you, shift your focus to getting to a safe spot. Immediately cease any hostilities if you need the other person to get you out of where you are. Tell the other person that it's in both of your interests that nothing bad happens to either of you. If you don't need the other person or, even worse, the other person poses a threat to you, then get to a safe place yourself or seek help elsewhere as soon as you can.
How Do You Prevent an Alpine Divorce?
Clearly, an alpine divorce is not something you want to be part of in any way. This doesn't mean that you should tell every person you date something like, "These sun-dried tomatoes are the high point of the meal. Speaking of high and dry, would you ever abandon me on the top of a mountain?"
But pay attention to any signs that the other person may lack empathy or be unable to emotionally regulate himself or herself. This includes not being able to sense when you are upset, failing to act when you need help, frequently displaying self-centeredness, or often having uncontrollable emotional outbursts.
Also, until you can really trust someone, don't put yourself in situations where you can't escape yourself. If you are hiking, always be mindful of how you can get home. Know whom to contact if you do get into some kind of unkind bind.
Finally, know what to look for in a partner. Remember, a partnership is about making each other stronger, not weaker. When dating, don't pine for the wrong superficial characteristics in a way that may leave you with someone who'll leave you in an alpine divorce.
