Why Relationships Matter

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Long-term relationships can become more satisfying when passionate love develops into deeper intimacy.

Boredom may call for novelty and new experiences, whereas unresolved hurt may require repair.

Moments of feeling misunderstood can create emotional distance long before a relationship officially ends.

I was sipping my coffee at the coffee shop, thinking about my next research collaboration, enjoying the greenery around me as butterflies flew by.

It was an early Saturday morning, and right in front of me, a couple was dancing in the parking lot without any music.

They were kissing, hugging, smiling. Then he walked her toward her car, they kissed again, and drove away in separate cars.

Maybe they had been married for 30 years. Maybe they were on their first date. Who knows? But watching them made me think about the butterfly phase—that crazy phase when you first fall in love. You are just flying. The trees are greener. Even when something bad happens, it doesn't feel bad because somewhere in your mind you have this feeling: I have them.

You talk for hours and still have more to say. You stay up all night talking, watch the sun come up, drive home, sleep for two hours, and wake up already missing each other. You send romantic messages. You don't care if they see you sick. You can do whatever you want in front of them and they still love you. And you realize that you just want their presence.

No wonder it feels like flying. You are discovering another person, a new world, and a new version of yourself inside that world. This is what I mean by “We fall.” But falling in love is only the........

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