I’m laid up at home feeling ill while writing this, which makes me grumpy, so bear with me if it sounds like a rant. But… can we please stop “male clothes banter”? If you’re taking the rip out of what someone wears in 2024, you are old and boring – and the joke you think you’re making might actually be damaging too.
I grew up in 90s/Noughties south-east England. The dynamic triple threat of Bromley, Epping and then Bishop’s Stortford. Every teenage boy dressed the same – not because we wanted to, but because you would get the piss mercilessly ripped out of you if you stepped out of line and tried something different. I remember some prick bullying me for wearing sunglasses he had decided he didn’t agree with. This stuff sticks with you for years. It only serves to keep everyone looking the same, unable to express themselves because they know they will become the butt of a million jokes.
When I was growing up, there was very little colour in men’s fashion, no experimentation, and you weren’t allowed to be interested in clothes or shopping. If you showed you cared about these things, you were told you were “gay” or “girly”. It not only affected how I dressed in my teenage years and my twenties, it skewed my attitude to other people’s clothes too. I had been conditioned to judge people for dressing flamboyantly, daringly, for stepping out of line in any way.
Of course, things have moved on a bit. There are loads of teenagers who seem much happier to wear whatever they want. Harry Styles dons high-waisted trousers and pearls and looks f**king amazing. But there are still a hell of a lot of men wearing monochrome leisurewear who feel like it’s their duty to keep everyone else in check.
To see this attitude still prevalent in 2024 and magnified by social media is thoroughly depressing. It happens in sport a lot – a world run by and full of repressed men who grew up in a time when you weren’t allowed to explore your full personality. I was watching cricket the other day and former England captain Alastair Cook dared to wear a shirt with what is sometimes known as a “camp collar” (I concede, the name isn’t massively helpful here). He looked great in it. You wouldn’t blink twice if Jacob Elordi wore it in an interview but for some reason, in macho-land where the norm is wearing ill-fitting suits, it was deemed ripe for mockery.
A camp collar shirt is one with a wide, open collar that sits flat against the chest. The shirt Cook had on was black silk, and of course a load of boring banter bastards on X (formerly Twitter) started piling on saying he’d accidentally turned up in his pyjamas. “HE’S WEARING PYJAMAS ON TELLY! WHAT A BELLEND! HAHAHAHAHA! IMAGINE! THAT’S WHAT YOU WEAR IN BED! IDIOT!” His fellow pundit Steven Finn (a brilliant man) even got caught up in it, joining the pile on and tweeting a photo of him sat next to Cook.
My heart sank because it’s lame, but also triggering. I’ve been Steven Finn before, and felt the pressure to join in, but I’ve also been Alastair Cook. In fact, it happens quite a lot with some of the things I wear. You just have to laugh it off because it’s even more uncool to have a sense of humour failure in lad world, but actually you want to tell everyone to f**k off.
We live in a world where men in navy zip-up Partridge sports fleeces gleefully criticise someone else’s sartorial choices in order to feel better about themselves. Safe clothes are seen as just that: safe. You blend into the crowd and no one bullies you. I’ve worn the acceptable uniform; I still do every now and then. Nothing wrong with a decent navy tee or the odd crew-neck jumper. But not every day. Try some new things out if you want to!
I sometimes feel like a lot of blokes now dress as though they are about to make a surprise appearance on the Diary of a CEO podcast. It’s just a new uniform for us to blend in. We’re all at adult school wearing our high performance podcast uniform, waiting to do a presentation. A bunch of sad digital sheep shuffling around wearing black bicep-hugging T-shirts with smart watches strapped to our wrists which tell us if our hearts are still on, loaded up with an app that reminds us to have another shot of Huel. It’s a capitalist costume which allows for no individual expression, no joy, no outliers.
We can stop this! But we must act. I became much more confident with my clothes when I realised I feel much happier wearing things I love instead of just wearing things to cover my body and go unnoticed.
I was conditioned to think it was embarrassing to like or even be interested in clothes. My job has helped me immensely. I’ve met brilliant people through work who have steered me in the right direction and given me the confidence to try new things. I often work with an amazing stylist called Tom Stubbs who essentially changed my life and showed me I could push things a bit more. You should all follow him on Instagram immediately by the way. The coolest man on earth. But it shouldn’t be that hard to break the convention. You shouldn’t need a stylist to help you discover new things about yourself.
Marrying Bella really helped too. She is the best dressed person I know. But even that makes me sad. It took me over 30 years and marriage to explore colour. “Here I am! A married masculine man finally comfortable enough to wear a pink jumper.” Pathetic.
All of this is really just another sign that men don’t communicate in the healthiest of ways. For all the talk about how we should open up and be more vulnerable, we still feel most comfortable slinging insults at each other. I’ve noticed how women go out of their way to compliment other women who wear something different, bigging each other up for stepping outside the lines. Maybe one day we’ll get there but right now, we’re not even close. As soon as I wore my favourite pink jumper on telly, I got a message on Instagram asking me why I was wearing my wife’s clothes. Sigh.
Pop on some high-waisted trousers, get yourself a colourful chunky knit and free yourself from the fleece.
Greg James presents BBC Radio 1’s breakfast show
I’ve had enough of men taking the piss out of each other’s clothes
8
0
29.02.2024
I’m laid up at home feeling ill while writing this, which makes me grumpy, so bear with me if it sounds like a rant. But… can we please stop “male clothes banter”? If you’re taking the rip out of what someone wears in 2024, you are old and boring – and the joke you think you’re making might actually be damaging too.
I grew up in 90s/Noughties south-east England. The dynamic triple threat of Bromley, Epping and then Bishop’s Stortford. Every teenage boy dressed the same – not because we wanted to, but because you would get the piss mercilessly ripped out of you if you stepped out of line and tried something different. I remember some prick bullying me for wearing sunglasses he had decided he didn’t agree with. This stuff sticks with you for years. It only serves to keep everyone looking the same, unable to express themselves because they know they will become the butt of a million jokes.
When I was growing up, there was very little colour in men’s fashion, no experimentation, and you weren’t allowed to be interested in clothes or shopping. If you showed you cared about these things, you were told you were “gay” or “girly”. It not only affected how I dressed in my teenage years and my twenties, it skewed my attitude to other people’s clothes too. I had been conditioned to judge people for dressing flamboyantly, daringly, for stepping out of line in any way.
Of course, things have moved on a bit. There are loads of teenagers who seem much happier to wear whatever they want. Harry Styles dons........
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