ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. My guest is actor, comedy writer and comedian Larry David.
LARRY DAVID
I made it on The Jerry Duncan Show. Pretty, pretty good.
JERRY
You’ve been around a long time. 76-years-old. Wrote or co-wrote every episode of Seinfeld for 7 years. Nominated for 30 Primetime Emmy Awards for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yet, you’re insecure.
LARRY
Unfortunately, my wife left me because I am insecure. Oh wait, she’s back. I guess she just went to the grocery store. Jerry, I’ve been seeing a shrink since I found out Senator Bernie Sanders is my 6th cousin removed. I can’t sleep at night.
JERRY
Which reminds me. Bernie Sanders walks into a bar and yells, “Free drinks for everyone! Now who’s paying?”
LARRY
When did he say that?
JERRY
It’s a joke.
LARRY
(angry) Not to me! How dare you bring Bernie into the conversation.
JERRY
You started it. This 6th cousin removed bullshit.
LARRY
Don’t listen to me, my best friend is a goldfish.
JERRY
Seems you have a bad case of immaturity.
LARRY
Who are you, Freud? This is a lifetime of GROW THE F UP!
JERRY
Calm down. Here’s a sedative.
LARRY
Thank you. The last time I took one of those pills was in Hebrew School. And that was the first day.
JERRY
Before you got started in television, you were a limo driver, store clerk, and bra salesman.
LARRY
My mother told me if you want stability, be a postman. The postal service and comedians have something in common. It’s in the delivery.
JERRY
You sold bras?
LARRY
Women trusted me. I always told them, “If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra.”
JERRY
You got a big break writing for Saturday Night Live, then walked off the job because your material wasn’t being used.
LARRY
Don’t ask. Why do you think I’m bald?
JERRY
It gets better. After quitting, you showed up at work two days later like nothing happened.
LARRY
Why not? I had a written excuse from a psychiatrist. Trust me, people know I’m not lying when I say I’m crazy.
JERRY
Are you still friends with Jerry Seinfeld?
LARRY
Who?
JERRY
I’ve noticed that you’ve lost weight over the years. You’re too skinny.
LARRY
Yeah. My skinny jeans and cheap hotels are alike. No ball room.
JERRY
Be honest. Did you really pummel tickling Elmo in the face on the Today Show?
LARRY
Absolutely. The stupid puppet refused to tell me how to get to Sesame Street.
JERRY
Comedian Larry David everyone. See you tomorrow.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Comedian Larry David
4
0
07.03.2024
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.
JERRY DUNCAN
Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. My guest is actor, comedy writer and comedian Larry David.
LARRY DAVID
I made it on The Jerry Duncan Show. Pretty, pretty good.
JERRY
You’ve been around a long time. 76-years-old. Wrote or co-wrote every episode of Seinfeld for 7 years. Nominated for 30 Primetime Emmy Awards for Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yet, you’re insecure.
LARRY
Unfortunately, my wife left me because I am insecure. Oh wait, she’s back. I guess she just went to the grocery store. Jerry, I’ve been seeing a........
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