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Simon Kelner

Simon Kelner

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The Met makes mistakes - stopping a Jewish man crossing a road isn't one of them

It is tempting to see Gideon Falter as a modern-day Rosa Parks, an ordinary citizen who has shone a light on injustice by asserting an inalienable...

monday 7

iNews

Simon Kelner

The problem with the Angela Rayner story? No one actually cares

As we go about our daily business today, we will all have a mixture of macro and micro matters on our minds. These might range from conflict in the...

18.04.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

Rachel Riley and Julia Hartley-Brewer mistook free speech for the right to rant

“Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had...

15.04.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

I'm trying to buy my local pub - but it's not going well

Two months ago, I wrote about how I was part of a small syndicate attempting to buy our local pub, which has now been closed for more than six months....

11.04.2024 7

iNews

Simon Kelner

University Challenge restores our faith in education after 'woke' ideology smears

Last night, eight students of diverse backgrounds and specialisms, ranging from a Kolkata-born postgraduate studying for a master’s in applied...

08.04.2024 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

The accidental message in Liz Truss's bizarre Easter lamb photo op

Can there be a better metaphor for the disconnected, self-absorbed nature of British politics than the picture posted by Liz Truss on Easter Sunday? ...

01.04.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

The funeral industry has a shocking secret

There are more than 90 regulatory bodies in the UK, and these cost the taxpayer around £4bn a year to run. The purpose of regulation, according to...

21.03.2024 4

iNews

Simon Kelner

Lloyds Bank's 'inclusive language' guide veers to wilder extremes of woke

Are we destined to live in a post-idiom world? Will that bird in the hand get cancelled? Will any common saying that references birds, dogs, cats,...

19.03.2024 4

iNews

Simon Kelner

British politics is in the gutter – how we fund it has to change

Has there ever been a story that has made you more nauseous about the state of British public life than the saga of Frank Hester, Diane Abbott, the 10...

15.03.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

I’ve reached peak Crufts – dogs should not be judged on looks alone

It pains me to say it, because I love dogs and I love Claire Balding even more, but I couldn’t help feeling on Sunday night that Crufts, the largest...

11.03.2024 4

iNews

Simon Kelner

The making of a PR disaster: how Rishi and Akshata got it so wrong

In the lexicon of public relations, there is a crude but evocative expression to describe the act of trying to make something appear what it most...

07.03.2024 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

On the banks of the River Dart, a political revolution is brewing

The official visitor website for Totnes offers plenty of options for those looking for diversions in this small town in the heart of South Devon....

05.03.2024 10

iNews

Simon Kelner

London has been sold by the pound to foreign investors – the BT Tower is just the latest victim

The news that the BT Tower, one of the most adored, storied and globally recognisable features of the London skyline, has been bought by an American...

28.02.2024 4

iNews

Simon Kelner

Prince William is throwing the Royal rule book out the window

“Too many have been killed”. Prince William’s stark and unarguable observation about the ongoing conflict in the Middle East is not the most...

21.02.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

Ageism isn't hurting older people like me – technology is

Is it possible that ageing is a thing that just happens to other people? We don’t always see ourselves as others do, and while we may exhibit the...

20.02.2024 20

iNews

Simon Kelner

The reaction to Steve Wright’s death showed the power of radio

Just after 5pm on Tuesday evening, I found myself alone in my car, dissolved in tears. The news had just broken that the radio presenter Steve Wright...

15.02.2024 6

iNews

Simon Kelner

I'm trying to buy my local pub to save it from going under

Earlier this week, after a hard day shirking at home, my neighbour and I decided that we deserved some relief from the interminable darkness of...

02.02.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

Kyle Walker's apology doesn't quite cut it

In the 83rd minute of Manchester City’s game at Tottenham Hotspur last Friday night, Kyle Walker found himself in a foot race with Tottenham’s...

29.01.2024 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

I always have a jigsaw puzzle on the go – they are the answer to our attention crisis

Just before last Christmas, Bill Gates posted a picture of himself on Instagram for his 8.9 followers to enjoy. There he was, dressed down in a...

23.01.2024 6

iNews

Simon Kelner

Paula Vennells has become a scapegoat

And so Paula Vennells joins a list that reads like the dinner party from Hell: Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall, Naseem Hamed, Harvey Weinstein, Fred Goodwin,...

10.01.2024 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

Carol Vorderman is my political hero

She is unlikely to be named Time magazine’s Person of the Year. And she’s been overlooked in this week’s New Year’s Honours List. But step...

02.01.2024 8

iNews

Simon Kelner

I know how the Government can make us happier - by keeping its promises

Did you know that the Government has, for the past decade, had a “Happiness Unit”? No, me neither. But since 2014, a small detachment of public...

28.12.2023 6

iNews

Simon Kelner

Vet bills are a rip-off – but my dog is worth it

Lenny and I had one of those meaningful father-and-son moments in the run-up to Christmas. It was 4.30am, and Lenny, the dachshund named by readers of...

24.12.2023 6

iNews

Simon Kelner

I met Larry David once – he used my name for the 'most despicable character' ever

“The following programme contains very strong language and adult themes”. This sober warning is followed by the playful striking up of the tuba,...

18.12.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

Nigel Farage's political comeback was over before it began

“[I’m] 60 next birthday, going to reach an age where I can’t do it. Now is the right time to do it.” What could Nigel Farage have been...

11.12.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

The key to happiness? It's as simple as changing a fuse

So far this morning, I’ve managed to get my printer to work, I’ve changed a fuse, completed an online purchase and sorted out the timer on my...

04.12.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Nigel Farage is flailing on I'm A Celeb without his usual PR

“Never say never,” said Nigel Farage this week when he was asked by one of his fellow contestants on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here whether...

01.12.2023 4

iNews

Simon Kelner

The BBC is not the enemy

I think we can all agree that Sunday’s march against antisemitism was a resounding success. Tens of thousands of people of all persuasions –...

27.11.2023 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

I have some news for you, Nigel Farage

A little more than seven million people spent a major chunk of Sunday night watching the first show in this season’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out...

23.11.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Israelis and Palestinians have more in common than either likes to admit

In the penultimate episode of the first series of the Netflix drama Fauda , which chronicles the undercover operations of Israeli special forces in...

21.11.2023 7

iNews

Simon Kelner

Charlotte Owen could forever change the House of Lords

Sounding remarkably like a contestant on a reality TV show, Charlotte Owen, the newly ennobled, 30-year-old Baroness Owen of Alderley Edge, began her...

16.11.2023 6

iNews

Simon Kelner

The UK is perilously close to complete disorder – so let’s back the police to do their job

It is hard to remember a time of greater political, social and cultural consternation. Take the past weekend, and its dizzying kaleidoscope of...

14.11.2023 5

iNews

Simon Kelner

Instagram, Jake Humphrey and other things that offend my inner snob

Nicky Haslam, at 84 years old, is not one to hide his light under a bushel. His own website says that his “greatest legacy is his undeniable talent...

08.11.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

I'm Jewish and want pro-Palestinian marches to go ahead on Armistice Day

The Palestine Solidarity Campaign (PSC), which organises the marches across Britain in support of a ceasefire in Gaza, has some noble ambitions,...

06.11.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

As a liberal-minded Jew, my views on Israel and Gaza are riddled with contradictions

Back in a time, long ago, when the world was a less rabidly opinionated, febrile and fractured place, I was having a discussion about the latest...

02.11.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

Welcome back to the Dominic Cummings circus

I know that the Covid inquiry, even in the context of what’s going on in the world at the moment, is still a seminal event, but I can’t help...

30.10.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Does any good actually come from arguing about this awful war? I fear not

I met one of my best friends for dinner last night. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said firmly, as we sat down. I knew immediately what he...

19.10.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Ban leaf blowers, the 21st century’s worst device

What are those telltale signs of getting older again? That’s right. Short-term memory lapses, listening to Radio 2, joining the National Trust and,...

16.10.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Football jumped to support Ukraine, the game's hesitancy over Israel speaks volumes

At the risk of sounding like David Baddiel, it was possible to think, as a spectator at Arsenal’s football match with Manchester City last Sunday,...

12.10.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

Downing Street projecting the Israeli flag in a conflict this complex is a mistake

At a different time, and in a different context, a piece of graffiti which says “Free Palestine” would not automatically be considered offensive...

09.10.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

I’ve smoked 175,000 cigarettes and at last the Government is banning smoking

I was once asked what was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. My answer was swift and unequivocal: smoking my first cigarette. And the second most...

06.10.2023 8

iNews

Simon Kelner

Abandoning HS2 shows just how hollow the Tories' 'levelling up' promises were

Accrington Market Hall gets 3.5 stars on Trip Advisor, and comments from visitors range from “hidden gem” to “very run down”. But, like many...

25.09.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

I was in the media in the Noughties – the culture that enabled Russell Brand is still thriving

Do you remember the Noughties? If you do, you obviously weren’t there, drunk on the heady fumes of hedonism, falling in and out of nightclubs,...

21.09.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

Russell Brand's 'mainstream media' conspiracy is a smokescreen

It is not entirely clear whether Elon Musk was referring to the investigation into Russell Brand’s sexual misconduct when he posted at the weekend...

18.09.2023 20

iNews

Simon Kelner

I doubt a single Scotland fan would confront Harry Maguire face to face

I have often wondered what it would be like if Twitter came to life. What if all those mean, disobliging, and casually abusive missives weren’t...

15.09.2023 7

iNews

Simon Kelner

The Asian hornet invasion is obliterating the UK's bees – and Brexit could be to blame

First thing Saturday morning, my phone pinged with a message from a neighbour on our village WhatsApp group to say that one of her house guests had...

11.09.2023 3

iNews

Simon Kelner

Disillusioned voters in the countryside are warming to Keir Starmer

First, we had the “Red Wall”, which Boris Johnson blustered through to win the hearts, minds and votes in traditional Labour areas and claim the...

07.09.2023 2

iNews

Simon Kelner

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