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Simon Kelner

Simon Kelner

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I follow Roger Federer’s five rules for life to improve my happiness

You may find yourself with 25 minutes or so to spare in your busy schedule today. So what do you do with that time? Some idle social media surfing?...

yesterday 10

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Simon Kelner

Boris Johnson's desperate attention-seeking is not worth your outrage

It’s not like Boris Johnson hasn’t got previous. The former prime minister of the United Kingdom has something of a penchant for peppering his...

10.06.2024 5

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Simon Kelner

MCC is looking embarrassingly brittle over Stephen Fry's remarks

Poor old Stephen Fry. One of the cleverest, most erudite, and most articulate men on the planet, he has said something so witless, ill-judged and...

06.06.2024 9

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Simon Kelner

Decline of the Evening Standard is part of a sadder tale about London

The news that London, self-proclaimed capital city of the world, is no longer to have its own daily newspaper – when once it had three – might...

03.06.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

Eamonn and Ruth's dog custody battle is a warning to all over 50s

It’s all right for Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford. They’re on the telly, so a degree of interest in their private lives is only to be expected....

30.05.2024 30

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Simon Kelner

Business titan Tony O’Reilly fearlessly defended journalists' fight for the truth

As the final tributes to Irish rugby international and businessman Tony O’Reilly were paid at his funeral in Dublin yesterday, it was hard to make...

24.05.2024 30

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Simon Kelner

Football isn't fair so stop bleating on about VAR

Congratulations to Fulham, who, barring an upset on the Premier League’s last day on Sunday, will finish on top of the table. And commiserations...

16.05.2024 30

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Simon Kelner

We're winning all the time, but Man City fans won't get bored with success

Last Saturday afternoon, in the blazing west London heat, I was walking down the Fulham Palace Road with my daughter. The traffic was at a standstill...

14.05.2024 60

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Simon Kelner

You wouldn't want your child to smoke – so ban their smartphone, too

There was a time, really not that long ago, when smoking was considered cool, harmless, even good for you. Doctors advertised the beneficial...

03.05.2024 70

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Simon Kelner

Younger people at great at interviews - but hopeless in the workplace

Here’s a joke to start the week and brighten up your day. A young man is having an interview for his first job. Interviewer: “What would you say...

30.04.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

No one will miss Avanti – Labour's train plans make perfect sense

There is one particular aspect of Labour’s proposal to bring Britain’s passenger rail network under public ownership that caught my eye: the...

25.04.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

The Met makes mistakes - stopping a Jewish man crossing a road isn't one of them

It is tempting to see Gideon Falter as a modern-day Rosa Parks, an ordinary citizen who has shone a light on injustice by asserting an inalienable...

22.04.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

The problem with the Angela Rayner story? No one actually cares

As we go about our daily business today, we will all have a mixture of macro and micro matters on our minds. These might range from conflict in the...

18.04.2024 9

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Simon Kelner

Rachel Riley and Julia Hartley-Brewer mistook free speech for the right to rant

“Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had...

15.04.2024 20

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Simon Kelner

I'm trying to buy my local pub - but it's not going well

Two months ago, I wrote about how I was part of a small syndicate attempting to buy our local pub, which has now been closed for more than six months....

11.04.2024 30

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Simon Kelner

University Challenge restores our faith in education after 'woke' ideology smears

Last night, eight students of diverse backgrounds and specialisms, ranging from a Kolkata-born postgraduate studying for a master’s in applied...

08.04.2024 4

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Simon Kelner

The accidental message in Liz Truss's bizarre Easter lamb photo op

Can there be a better metaphor for the disconnected, self-absorbed nature of British politics than the picture posted by Liz Truss on Easter Sunday? ...

01.04.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

The funeral industry has a shocking secret

There are more than 90 regulatory bodies in the UK, and these cost the taxpayer around £4bn a year to run. The purpose of regulation, according to...

21.03.2024 4

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Simon Kelner

Lloyds Bank's 'inclusive language' guide veers to wilder extremes of woke

Are we destined to live in a post-idiom world? Will that bird in the hand get cancelled? Will any common saying that references birds, dogs, cats,...

19.03.2024 6

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Simon Kelner

British politics is in the gutter – how we fund it has to change

Has there ever been a story that has made you more nauseous about the state of British public life than the saga of Frank Hester, Diane Abbott, the 10...

15.03.2024 20

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Simon Kelner

I’ve reached peak Crufts – dogs should not be judged on looks alone

It pains me to say it, because I love dogs and I love Claire Balding even more, but I couldn’t help feeling on Sunday night that Crufts, the largest...

11.03.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

The making of a PR disaster: how Rishi and Akshata got it so wrong

In the lexicon of public relations, there is a crude but evocative expression to describe the act of trying to make something appear what it most...

07.03.2024 7

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Simon Kelner

On the banks of the River Dart, a political revolution is brewing

The official visitor website for Totnes offers plenty of options for those looking for diversions in this small town in the heart of South Devon....

05.03.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

London has been sold by the pound to foreign investors – the BT Tower is just the latest victim

The news that the BT Tower, one of the most adored, storied and globally recognisable features of the London skyline, has been bought by an American...

28.02.2024 20

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Simon Kelner

Prince William is throwing the Royal rule book out the window

“Too many have been killed”. Prince William’s stark and unarguable observation about the ongoing conflict in the Middle East is not the most...

21.02.2024 5

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Simon Kelner

Ageism isn't hurting older people like me – technology is

Is it possible that ageing is a thing that just happens to other people? We don’t always see ourselves as others do, and while we may exhibit the...

20.02.2024 20

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Simon Kelner

The reaction to Steve Wright’s death showed the power of radio

Just after 5pm on Tuesday evening, I found myself alone in my car, dissolved in tears. The news had just broken that the radio presenter Steve Wright...

15.02.2024 40

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Simon Kelner

I'm trying to buy my local pub to save it from going under

Earlier this week, after a hard day shirking at home, my neighbour and I decided that we deserved some relief from the interminable darkness of...

02.02.2024 5

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Simon Kelner

Kyle Walker's apology doesn't quite cut it

In the 83rd minute of Manchester City’s game at Tottenham Hotspur last Friday night, Kyle Walker found himself in a foot race with Tottenham’s...

29.01.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

I always have a jigsaw puzzle on the go – they are the answer to our attention crisis

Just before last Christmas, Bill Gates posted a picture of himself on Instagram for his 8.9 followers to enjoy. There he was, dressed down in a...

23.01.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

Paula Vennells has become a scapegoat

And so Paula Vennells joins a list that reads like the dinner party from Hell: Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall, Naseem Hamed, Harvey Weinstein, Fred Goodwin,...

10.01.2024 5

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Simon Kelner

Carol Vorderman is my political hero

She is unlikely to be named Time magazine’s Person of the Year. And she’s been overlooked in this week’s New Year’s Honours List. But step...

02.01.2024 10

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Simon Kelner

I know how the Government can make us happier - by keeping its promises

Did you know that the Government has, for the past decade, had a “Happiness Unit”? No, me neither. But since 2014, a small detachment of public...

28.12.2023 10

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Simon Kelner

Vet bills are a rip-off – but my dog is worth it

Lenny and I had one of those meaningful father-and-son moments in the run-up to Christmas. It was 4.30am, and Lenny, the dachshund named by readers of...

24.12.2023 7

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Simon Kelner

I met Larry David once – he used my name for the 'most despicable character' ever

“The following programme contains very strong language and adult themes”. This sober warning is followed by the playful striking up of the tuba,...

18.12.2023 10

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Simon Kelner

Nigel Farage's political comeback was over before it began

“[I’m] 60 next birthday, going to reach an age where I can’t do it. Now is the right time to do it.” What could Nigel Farage have been...

11.12.2023 30

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Simon Kelner

The key to happiness? It's as simple as changing a fuse

So far this morning, I’ve managed to get my printer to work, I’ve changed a fuse, completed an online purchase and sorted out the timer on my...

04.12.2023 20

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Simon Kelner

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