menu_open
Alexandra Petri

Alexandra Petri

Washington Post

We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

What’s your best nerdy dating advice? I’m taking your jokes.

Alexandra's live chat with readers starts at 11 a.m. ET on Tuesday. Submit your questions now. Share Add to your saved stories...

yesterday 2

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

What the flag your Supreme Court justice is flying means

Including the Jolly Roger, the rainbow flag and all orientations of the Stars and Stripes. Supreme Court Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. and his...

23.05.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes

14.05.2024 30

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

I’m the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.’s brain, and I’m asking for your vote

I am brave enough to say: I am a parasite, and I don’t understand what is best for the country! Robert F. Kennedy Jr., center, and me, inset....

09.05.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

What’s your favorite oxymoron? I’m taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

30.04.2024 70

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

‘Kristi, darling, I understand completely,’ by Cruella De Vil

The wretched hounds deserve it! (iStock ) Listen 3 min Share Comment on this story Comment Add to...

29.04.2024 30

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

A new Founding Father time-travels to forestall presidential immunity

Former president Donald Trump returns to the courtroom during his civil fraud case at the New York State Supreme Court on Nov. 6. (Jabin Botsford/The...

26.04.2024 90

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Congrats on buying Operation: Post-Roe! Here are the board game FAQs.

Introducing a new patient — Cavity Samantha — plus the chance to play with state legislators! (David J. Phillip/AP) Listen 4 min ...

25.04.2024 90

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

23.04.2024 9

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Tortured poets discuss Taylor Swift’s ‘The Tortured Poets Department’

Bottles of a violet ink named in honor of poet Emily Dickinson in Organics Studio in Brunswick, Md., on Sept. 27. (John Kelly/The Washington Post) ...

22.04.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Did Donald Trump dream this?

(Mary Altaffer/AP) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story Comment Add to your saved stories ...

18.04.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

How does the moon cut his hair? I’m taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

16.04.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

I have some better questions for potential Trump jurors

Former president Donald Trump arrives at Manhattan criminal court with his legal team on Monday. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post) ...

16.04.2024 90

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

The Time Travelers’ Wives

A man enters the Arizona Supreme Court building on Wednesday in Phoenix. (Matt York/AP) Listen 4 min Share Comment...

11.04.2024 100

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

09.04.2024 9

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

You are my sunshine

A total solar eclipse as seen from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Monday. (Joel Kowsky/Nasa/Getty Images) Listen 4 min ...

09.04.2024 60

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

The eclipse and earthquake are omens! Portents are all around!

Look to the heavens and see God's proclamation! (Gabriella Demczuk/For The Washington Post) Listen 3 min Share ...

06.04.2024 100

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Excerpts from Cormac McCarthy’s ‘The Infrastructure’

Cars are escorted by a section of southbound Highway 1 that broke off and fell into the ocean at Rocky Creek Bridge on Tuesday near Big Sur, Calif....

04.04.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

02.04.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Who needs the Bible? Try the Book of Trump!

Who wrote this? This is no good. (Patrick Semansky/AP) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story Comment ...

28.03.2024 6

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Why do vultures hate to fly commercial? Alexandra Petri is taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

26.03.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Please, everyone, welcome the Joker to the Gotham news team!

Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? (Rebecca Blackwell/AP) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story ...

26.03.2024 80

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

It’s a Trump fire sale, and everything must go!

Trump merchandise in Concord, N.H., on Jan. 19. (Adam Glanzman for The Washington Post) Listen 4 min Share Comment on...

22.03.2024 30

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Fox News aired a sponsored prayer! Here’s the one it should do next.

Prayer, brought to you by Panera! (iStock) Listen 1 min Share Comment on this story Comment Add...

21.03.2024 70

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

What are your least favorite phrases? Alexandra Petri answered your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

19.03.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

At retreat, the House GOP does what it does best: Fail to show up

House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) speaks to members of the media at a retreat for GOP House members in White Sulphur Springs, W.Va., on Thursday....

16.03.2024 100

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

I have figured out where the Princess of Wales is

Part of Catherine's disguise, perhaps? Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story Comment Add to...

14.03.2024 4

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

If everyone’s mad at Hur, he must be doing something right! Right?

13.03.2024 5

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

What’s the best pie for people who don’t like pie? Alexandra Petri is taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

12.03.2024 50

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Don’t go in the kitchen. I’m delivering a State of the Union response.

Sen. Katie Boyd Britt (R-Ala.) responds to Biden's State of the Union address. (Washington Post staff/TWP) Listen 3 min ...

08.03.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Measles is ready for you to see its softer side

Measles is there waiting for me, looking well-rested despite its whirlwind tour of classrooms and homes. (Getty Images) Listen 5 min ...

08.03.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

How will you celebrate this momentous day? Alexandra Petri is taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

05.03.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

A cognitive test to be president? Sure. Try this one.

(iStock) Listen 3 min Share Comment on this story Comment Add to your saved stories Save ...

02.03.2024 300

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

McConnell retiring to spend more time eroding the rights of his family

The minority leader looks forward to standing in the middle of pickleball courts with his arms folded while people try to play around him. (Jabin...

29.02.2024 200

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

27.02.2024 8

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Congratulations! Alabama court says that embryo is as good as a live child.

23.02.2024 9

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Walk a mile in the $399 Trump sneakers

When are these things going to kick in? (Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story Comment...

22.02.2024 6

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Who’s your favorite obscure president? I answered your questions.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

20.02.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Who is Mike Johnson always on the phone with?

“Would you mind being placed on a brief hold?” (Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this...

16.02.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Why am I tossing beads around the house? I’m taking your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

13.02.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Look at Taylor Swift’s lyrics. The conspiracies are in plain sight.

Taylor Swift gasps as one diabolical plan or another comes to fruition. (Nick Wass/AP) Listen 5 min Share Comment on...

08.02.2024 100

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Why don’t the Amish water-ski? I answered your questions.

06.02.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Elmo experiences a dark night of the soul

Elmo and Karli. (Zach Hyman/Sesame Workshop) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this story Comment ...

02.02.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Happy Inane Answering Message Day. Chat with Alexandra Petri and tell her your jokes.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday at 11 a.m. Eastern for a live chat...

30.01.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

It is possible that some of us have been mishearing God

Yes, the pattern in the back here will be perfect for your backsplash. (iStock) Listen 4 min Share Comment on this...

25.01.2024 8

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

Trump accepts election results, outraging his base

Former president Donald Trump at an election night event in New Hampshire on Tuesday. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post) Listen 3 min...

24.01.2024 20

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

What is your least favorite vegetable? Alexandra Petri is answering your questions.

Share Add to your saved stories Save Humor columnist Alexandra Petri is online every Tuesday for a live chat where she’ll offer a...

23.01.2024 10

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

You served on Donald Trump’s jury. You lost everything.

You are nothing without your peers. Yours, and other people’s. (Jane Rosenberg/Reuters) Listen 6 min Share Comment...

19.01.2024 7

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

I could have sworn I was around for Donald Trump’s presidency

Supporters cheer for former president Donald Trump during an event in Warren, Mich., in October 2022. (Sarah Rice for The Washington Post) ...

18.01.2024 100

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

But Ron DeSantis did everything right!

Campaign signs are placed on chairs during an event with Republican presidential candidate Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis at the Grass Wagon in Council...

16.01.2024 40

Washington Post

Alexandra Petri

f3a37c0f539b3cf9d56ef36083174424