As the writer of an ethical advice column, I get a lot of questions from people who really want to do good in the world but are running into problems.

They want to know how to give charity — and how to do it optimally. They want to know if they should be pressuring their parents to donate more. They want to know if there’s such a thing as helping too much or too little. And they want to know about ways of doing good that aren’t about giving money at all.

So, in honor of Giving Tuesday, I’ve combed through all the advice I’ve given over the past year and created this cheat sheet for you. It’s packed with my top tips, as well as my favorite quotes about the philosophy of doing good.

If giving away money is hard, start small. Then, prepare to feel amazing.

I grew up in a family on welfare. We always had housing and enough to eat, but we couldn’t afford frills. I put every penny I got straight into a savings account, and my child-brain whined with anxiety when I saw my dad occasionally donate to others (what if we need that money?).

As an adult, I was lucky to get jobs that paid decently. But ,I kept grappling with money dysmorphia — feeling nervous about money even after becoming financially stable.

Tips for doing good

• Sometimes, the best way to get comfortable with giving away money is to just start giving. Don’t be shy about starting small; you can do a shocking amount of good for less than $100.
  
• Make use of charity evaluators that tell you which nonprofits do the most good per dollar in a given field. But give up the fantasy that some magic formula can tell you how to optimize “the good” overall.
  
• If you want to encourage others to donate more, meet them with empathy (not pressure or judginess) and emphasize the joy you get out of giving (not the moral case for it).

So, believe me when I say, I understand that giving away your money can be scary.

Here’s what I did: I started small. I gave $10 here, $50 there, until, eventually, I was donating thousands of dollars each year. It helped that rigorous charity evaluators had come on the scene, so I could feel confident that certain nonprofits would put my money to good use. And it helped to learn that even a modest donation can do serious good. For just $94, say, you can keep a child from starving.

To my surprise, my initial fear ended up giving way to a wild, leaping joy. Giving felt so good, not only........

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