CHRISTMAS IS OFTEN presented as a season of joy, connection, and celebration. We see images of smiling families, beautifully decorated homes, and perfectly prepared dinners, all suggesting that the festive period should be uncomplicated and blissful. But behind these idealised images, many people experience something far more complex.

Stress, loneliness, unresolved family dynamics, financial pressures, and the ache of missing loved ones can make Christmas one of the most emotionally challenging times of the year. If you find this season difficult, you’re far from alone – and simply acknowledging that truth is an important act of self-compassion.

As a psychotherapist, I see every year how Christmas can stir conflicting feelings. For some, it’s a time of warmth and connection; for others, it brings grief, tension, or a sense of falling short. Many people experience a mixture of both — moments of joy woven together with moments of sadness or overwhelm.

This year will be my own family’s first Christmas without our lovely Mum, and her absence sits heavily beneath the preparations.

Pretending otherwise, or striving for a perfect day, would only add to the emotional weight. Allowing sadness, longing, and whatever feelings arise gives us room to breathe, whereas pushing them aside in pursuit of the idealised holiday only heightens stress.

Christmas tends to intensify what is already happening in our lives. When things are going well, it can feel magical. When life is difficult, the season can cast a sharper light on those struggles.

One of the greatest pressures we face is the myth of perfection: the glossy, curated images of harmonious gatherings that rarely reflect real family life. Most homes don’t resemble a Hallmark card — nor should they. Christmas........

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