A version of this post appeared in Lindsey Bodner’s Substack newsletter, The Intentional Jewish Family. 

Most Orthodox parents want to raise children who are Jewishly literate and attached to the values and practices that define observant Jewish life, including attendance at Shabbat services. Schools, camps, and shuls certainly contribute to that formation, but they cannot replace parents. Across North American communities, I’ve noticed a growing gap between what we hope our children will internalize and the responsibility we, as parents, take upon ourselves to make those aspirations a reality. One expression of this gap appears in how children participate in shul.

The most effective foundations are set early. It shouldn’t, but does, feel a little transgressive to suggest that children should daven in the main sanctuary on Shabbat alongside their parents. In many Israeli communities and in past generations, it is—or was—the norm for children to pray next to their parents, but in most communities in the US, this is the exception rather than the norm.

While I encourage all parents to consider how davening in shul might work for their families, for those with neurodivergent children, families managing medical challenges, single parents, and parents with newborns, this expectation may simply not be possible, or it may need to be modified. Likewise, not all shul layouts are created equal. Nevertheless, I believe a change in mindset and adjustments in action for many families would pay dividends.

Shul groups, babysitting, and staying home are great options for parents of toddlers or preschoolers, but as children get older, the normative goal should be moving toward davening with the community. Having participated in conceptualizing and executing a number of shul groups across a swath of........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)