They say you never know when it’s going to be your last. It’s 8:07 p.m. The hell began apparently just one hour ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago. I am writing on my sister-in-law’s iPad because I don’t have my phone, I don’t have my keys, my pram or anything, everything has been left there. I feel naked without my phone and I can’t stop fixating on it, yet I am so grateful for my life. Most importantly, my baby’s life. I can’t even believe I am writing this. I am in shock, in disbelief. I want to vomit.

All I remember is one minute everything is nice and grand. I’m chatting to my friend about joining her beach plans on Friday, and then I hear fireworks. Huh, I thought to myself as I look up at the sky, confused. I don’t see fireworks. Suddenly I hear everyone and see the CSG guys saying, “Down, down, everyone down.”

I am bewildered, confused. I leave everything and shove down to the ground, my brain thinking, no, no, this can’t be happening. I am in Australia. People don’t have guns. This can’t be happening. I am shoving my body over my baby. All I want to do is protect my baby. I start saying Tehillim (Psalms). I am with my friend Chaya. I say to Chaya, “Chaya, what’s happening?” I am saying Tehillim, bewildered. I see crates. “Quick,” I said, “let’s put these crates over our heads,” as I try to move them, protecting my baby.

My baby is hot and........

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