According to a YouGov survey earlier this year, the cost of living tops the list of public concerns at 54 per cent before immigration and asylum (49 per cent), health and the NHS (43 per cent) and the economy (33 per cent). According to The Independent half of Britons have under £25 left at the end of the week and 79 per cent say the cost-of-living crisis has negatively affected their wellbeing. But here – at long last – is where the impoverished aristocrat comes out on top.

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Often found lurking in the depths of rural England, the impoverished aristocrat is more than used to weathering bad economic climes. Both they and their ancestors have dealt with a fair few cost-of-living crises in the past. No heating is not a problem for them as they are used to wearing more jumpers than the Michelin man, shutting off rooms and taking refuge by the Aga instead. As long as they can make a mean cup of tea, cup-a-soup and the odd baked potato with lashings of beans and cheese, that will ‘be more than enough’.  

An impoverished aristocrat will never be upset if they can’t go on a shopping spree. Shopping, in their opinion, is frightfully common.........

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