When Eileen, a 75-year-old British grandmother, bought a brand-new car she found its advanced driver-assistance repeatedly told her the speed limit in a 30mph zone was 80mph and then kept jerking the steering wheel to ‘correct’ her, even when she was trying to park.

She told Which? that driving had gone ‘from a lifeline to a nightmare’. ‘I’ve seriously considered getting some old, beat-up car from five years ago that doesn’t have this technology,’ she said.

Car safety features are boring and intrusive, like having a man with a clipboard and lanyard permanently in your backseat. Indeed, the Which? survey of more than 1,500 motorists found we are increasingly switching off all that ‘safety’ tech because it’s actually dangerous, distracting or useless.

From automatic lane-assist steering adjustments to internal monitors of how drowsy you are, the ludicrous gadgets encrusting today’s cars are easy to poke fun at. The unfunny bit is that we pay extra for all this daft technology. We even pay for the unaccountable, rather shadowy organisation that has caused its proliferation.

This little-known body is the European New Car Assessment Programme (Euro NCAP), which celebrates its 30th anniversary this year. It is based in Leuven, Belgium, but its multi-million-pound budget finances specialist car-testing labs across the world, including in Thatcham in Berkshire.

Euro NCAP is why modern cars chirp, beep, brake, warn, nudge and glare at you

NCAP’s lifespan has corresponded with an auto........

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