“Is it safe?”

The minute-long trailer for the exciting new payoff documentary about our nation’s least popular First Lady, entitled Melania, features little dialogue. How striking then, that one of those few lines is the most famous phrase from the 1976 film, Marathon Man, starring Laurence Olivier as a Nazi war criminal/dentist who tortures Dustin Hoffman while repeatedly asking, “Is it safe?”

Melania had its unofficial premiere at the White House last Sunday, while Alex Pretti’s blood was still fresh on the Minneapolis snow. Its guest list of 70 or so featured at least four accused sexual assailants, including the film’s director Brett Ratner. The other three? Tony Robbins, Mike Tyson, and the President of the United States.

(By the by, the official premiere, which takes place at the very empty, still officially-titled Kennedy Center of the Performing Arts tonight, will also feature Dr. Phil in attendance, himself the subject of a 2021 sexual assault accusation.)

Astute film lovers may recall that the White House movie theater was demolished to make way for the soon-to-be-built, later-to-be-demolished Trump ballroom, so guests had to make do with an ad hoc screening room in the East Room.

Guests were treated to Melania sweets, Melania swag bags, a song composed for the film entitled Melania’s Waltz performed by a military band, and Melania herself resplendent in a tight-fitting, black-and-white gown designed by her stylist, Hervé Pierre, which is such a perfect name for somebody styling Melania that I had to double-check to make sure I wasn’t being pranked.........

© The Daily Beast