Interviewer: Tonight we have a spokesman for Peter Dutton because he wasn’t available so we have Noah Dear to explaining what Mr Dutton meant when he complained about our decision not to send a ship to the Middle East and said that it took a “lot of effort and a special sort of weakness and incompetence for our Prime Minister to turn his back on our closest ally, a decision that could only be welcomed by Hamas (a listed terrorist organisation).” Good evening, Mr Dear.

Dear: Good evening. Yes, it’s a shameful decision and a weak decision. I mean we’ve never turned our backs on the United States. Whenever they’ve asked us to be involved in any war anywhere we’ve always done what we were told and anything less is, well, pretty weak, frankly.

Interviewer: But the government says that they’re more concerned about what’s going on in the Pacific. Shouldn’t that be our focus?

Dear: No, our focus should be whatever America tells us is our focus. As Mr Dutton said, it’s pretty weak when you don’t do what your greatest ally tells you to do.

Interviewer: So you’re suggesting that refusing to do what the USA tells him to do makes Mr Albanese weak?

Dear: Exactly. He’s not standing up to the people who think that we shouldn’t be sending a ship to Middle East.

Interviewer: And who are those people exactly?

Dear: The left of his party. I mean there’s never been a war that they supported… If it was up to them we’d have never gone to Vietnam to stop the communists from invading and we’d be overrun by Marxists.

Interviewer: Don’t some members of your party think that we have been overrun by Marxists?

Dear: Yes, so?

Interviewer:........

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