What Are Personality Disorders?

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Values shift the focus of therapy from reducing suffering to building a meaningful life.

Clarifying values can strengthen identity and increase motivation for change.

Behaviors are best evaluated by whether they align with your values and goals.

When people begin treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD), the first conversation is often about what's going wrong. Therapists ask about emotional outbursts, impulsive decisions, self-harm, unstable relationships, and any other symptoms that prompted their client to seek treatment. These questions are essential because they help us understand the person's difficulties and determine how to keep them safe.

But once that assessment is complete, where should therapy begin?

Many evidence-based treatments naturally focus on reducing symptoms. That makes sense. After all, people seek treatment because they are suffering.

Yet as a researcher and clinician specializing in BPD, I've found that starting therapy by asking “Who do you want to become?” is a more powerful question than “Who do you want to stop being?”

A Different Starting Point

BPD Compass (2026) is an evidence-based treatment for BPD that my colleagues and I developed to match treatment to the underlying personality processes driving each person's symptoms rather than assuming everyone needs the same intervention.

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