Gratitude gives you perspective. It offers humility if you remind yourself to feel it.

Oprah started talking about it long ago, or that's when I remember hearing it for the first time. She had couples keeping gratitude lists—things they were grateful for about each other. It was a good idea. We often forget to say thank you to each other.

But there's often pushback, "Am I supposed to thank him every time he unloads the dishwasher?" Or "Just because she picks up the dry cleaning, am I supposed to be grateful for that? I go to work every day."

That's all-or-nothing thinking, for one thing. And childish, demanding your due, instead of growing up and realizing a little graciousness, or selflessness feels good from time to time.

But can gratitude backfire? You bet it can—when it turns into toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity occurs when someone ignores or rejects negative emotions and insists on "positive thinking" instead. They may deny their own emotions, other people's, or both.........

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