Guilt and Shame Are Not the Same
Guilt and shame are felt more when one’s needs for safety and belonging have not been met.
Such self-evaluation can be harsh, leading to low self-worth.
Humans are innately concerned with the threat of being excommunicated from our social network. Evolution makes us abide by the rules of our group; otherwise, we might be thrown to the wolves. Feelings of guilt and shame come about after we think we have done something wrong, or when someone else tells us we have made a mistake. Guilt equals I did something bad, while shame equals I am something bad. Guilt is more straightforward to handle, but shame is harder, as we sometimes try to hide our shame.
According to much research, guilt and shame have pro-social characteristics. In one 2017 study from the journal Frontiers in Psychology, researchers found that guilt can encourage a person to act morally in the future. In the instance of shame, some people can become avoidant, but on the whole, they become motivated to do better.
When we feel one of these emotions, we often try to make amends, give apologies, and generally do better for others. Yet shame is more problematic because of its identity-defining feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing. Cross-examination from a boss, for example,........
