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While you may feel an instant connection with your surrogate, that feeling can fade later in the pregnancy.

A weekly face-to-face call with your surrogate can create an environment that might shield you from problems.

A weekly call can provide you with more moments to document and share with your future child.

There has been a lot of discussion in the news recently about problematic surrogacy relationships, and some that have been highly problematic. One of the tools I have used and presented at the annual conference of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine is a way to reframe the surrogacy contract with your gestational carrier, before you start the process, to help ensure everyone’s values are aligned. You can read more here.

Another tool I have used, which is often suggested but easily dismissed, is a weekly face-to-face call between the gestational carrier and the intended parents. To see why this can be so important, let’s first look at the relationship between the intended parents and gestational carrier and how it evolves during the journey.

Many intended parents and gestational carriers feel like they are “in love” with each other from the beginning. Yet this feeling can be deceiving. Beneath it is often a gestational carrier who sees herself as a giver or a helper, doing something incredibly valuable and, in doing so,........

© Psychology Today