Why Relationships Matter

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Needing other people is a basic psychological need, not a sign of weakness.

Autonomy and relatedness can coexist; connection does not require losing yourself.

The goal should not be to need less, but to depend on others without surrendering your sense of self.

Think about the last time something wonderful happened to you. Maybe you received a promotion, finished a difficult project, heard good news about your health, or watched your child accomplish something meaningful. What did you do next? When this happens to me, I know what I want to do. I want to tell someone. I want to share my joy. But posting about it online doesn’t give me what I need.

If you are like me, that impulse reveals something important about us. Success is not only something we want to experience privately or performatively. It becomes fuller when it is shared, celebrated with friends and family, and folded into relationships. The same is true for hardships. We may be embarrassed or ashamed to go through something hard, and we may be hesitant to “publicize” our pain, but when we receive a sympathetic ear or a helping hand, we appreciate more than just the assistance. We are grateful for being seen and for the interpersonal connection.

We often talk as though needing other people is a sign of weakness. “Don’t be so........

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