This post is part of a series on adverse childhood experiences. Read the other parts here.
Perhaps you’ve been told, “You worry too much. Just relax.” Perhaps you think, “I wish it were that easy. I’ve worried all my life.” Worry is a prominent feature of anxiety disorders, the most prevalent of the mental disorders. Worry is often rooted in adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).
Worry is a seemingly relentless chain of troubling thoughts, sometimes accompanied by troubling images, that occur as we try to cope with issues that are uncertain and fearful.
The worry chain might start with a fear that leads to “What ifs.” For example, a generalized feeling of being unsafe or damaged might lead to: “What if I fail? What if I’m judged? What if my money runs out? What if my life has no purpose? What if the worst happens?” Such thoughts typically distract us from actually resolving the original fear that’s driving the worries, so the worries continue and keep us up at night and anxious.
Worry correlates with low self-esteem and low confidence in problem-solving. Worriers tend to have high standards to validate their worth while treating themselves harshly for failing to meet these standards.
Replacing excessive worry with solution-focused concern usually results in improved mood and performance, less fatigue, less anxiety, better health, and, yes, better sleep!
ACEs can overstimulate the nervous system and wire the brain to remain on high alert. The hyperaroused brain becomes over-reactive to present fears and stressors, which trigger fearful childhood memories. For example, attachment disruptions in the early years of life can imprint feelings of shame—the fearful felt sense of being inadequate, worthless, not good enough, and so on. Imprinted shame can then be triggered by present situations, such as criticism or fear of failing.
Worrisome thought patterns in the brain can be imprinted in childhood. These patterns can be exacerbated by genetic predispositions, dysfunctional coping patterns seen in the home, disordered breathing, a wide range of medical illnesses, substance use (including alcohol, caffeine, and even tranquilizers), discontinuation of various drugs (such as antianxiety or antidepressant medications), lack of meaning and purpose, and unhealthy lifestyle practices (such as irregular sleep hours, lack of exercise, and poor nutrition).
Avoidance does. It is understandable that we’d wish to avoid uncomfortable feelings—like fear and a sense of inadequacy—and the hidden wounds from childhood that maintain these feelings. Avoidance brings immediate, temporary relief, but at quite a cost. First, avoided fears remain the same, unchanged, and likely to intrude in our lives (including at night when we try to sleep). We might even start to fear going to bed, which can lead to insomnia and sleep deprivation (both of which worsen worry). Second, we don’t learn that facing our fears might not be as difficult as we suppose and that we can learn to manage our fears and worries.
These are the principles of effective worry management:
Fortunately, many strategies and skills apply these foundational principles, leading to greater enjoyment and better functioning in life. We’ll explore these strategies and skills in future posts.
References
Schiraldi, G. R. (2021). The Adverse Childhood Experiences Recovery Workbook: Heal the Hidden Wounds from Childhood Affecting Your Adult Mental and Physical Health. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
Does Worry Keep You Up at Night?
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08.11.2023
This post is part of a series on adverse childhood experiences. Read the other parts here.
Perhaps you’ve been told, “You worry too much. Just relax.” Perhaps you think, “I wish it were that easy. I’ve worried all my life.” Worry is a prominent feature of anxiety disorders, the most prevalent of the mental disorders. Worry is often rooted in adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).
Worry is a seemingly relentless chain of troubling thoughts, sometimes accompanied by troubling images, that occur as we try to cope with issues that are uncertain and fearful.
The worry chain might start with a fear that leads to “What ifs.” For example, a generalized feeling of being unsafe or damaged might lead to: “What if I fail? What if I’m judged? What if my money runs out? What if my life has no purpose? What if the worst happens?” Such thoughts........
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