Some people just know, early on, that they want (or need) to be leaders in some area of commercial or civic life. Think, for example, of Barack Obama, who overcame many challenges to eventually become our 44th U.S. President. For them, the question is only how to get there, given their unique challenges. They struggle, of course, and their concept of leadership may evolve over the trajectory of their personal growth. But very early in their careers, they know that some form of leadership is right for them.

That is, their vision of themselves is founded in taking charge, and in directing a group that is larger than themselves. These people have the “leadership gene,” a drive to run things that is sufficiently credible to themselves so that, once they begin to pursue their vision, they never look back. They’re naturals. If they had applied to West Point, it would have been in character.

Part of Obama’s story became a hit movie, Barry, about his life at Columbia University. It captured an era of social injustice in which he overcame racism and other obstacles. But on an individual level, it examined how leaders naturally emerge and shape the times they live in. It’s as if natural leaders know how to move fast and what things to discard, even when not every decision is optimal. They just keep ascending, seemingly unstoppably.

Not just in the movies, but in real life.

But okay, what about the other people, the ones who never dreamed of becoming a leader but somehow find themselves in that position? How did that happen? How did they suddenly surprise themselves, and everybody else? In most cases, this is how leaders actually develop. The role often sneaks up on them, taking them by surprise. Of course, they’re not any less of a leader—at least, once they discover that in fact they are leading.

I’ve had clients who tentatively, reluctantly, and with some gentle pressure finally moved into (or toward) leadership. Once they did, they grasped the opportunity, but never quite so much as to entirely forsake their other competing motivations. But it’s common that someone initially has no idea that they want to be a leader—but then, POW! They get a taste for it and just keep building on their skills and opportunities. In effect, they discover that they can lead, not least because they love it.

These people present a different profile from those who know early on that they’re destined to lead. This type of self-discovery is more common among women, especially those who have lived a comfortable life in a traditional setting. It can take a radical disruption in their lives to upset their personal status quo. It may even require a reappraisal—based on long-accepted norms—in how they’ve come to think of their place in some natural scheme of things. In my practice, I try to help these people (men and women!) to imagine themselves in all the new contexts that leadership presents (and may likely present, since a big part of leadership is the scary unknown).

We learn from these people’s stories that it’s never too late. We can catch up fast. We also learn not be defensive about wanting to lead once we discover that we do —instead, it’s okay to go for it. No need to be self-conscious. A vision is no less authentic because it has only recently grabbed us. If a vision presents itself (anytime), that is reason enough. The idea that we must justify pursuing a vision as far as we can is socially counterproductive.

I’ve also seen how newcomers to leadership feel that it’s important to be conspicuously modest. One woman told me, “I really want to take charge, but I’m afraid to seem like I do.” My response was “Who are you afraid of?” We should get past the idea that everyone is looking at us and calibrating every move we make against some rigid (and often invisible) set of rules concerning who should be a leader and how they should go about assuming that position. Every leader is unique. You are you.

So, as you begin to think of yourself as a potential leader, ask yourself:

Leadership roles can arise suddenly. We may even feel blindsided by them. But when confronted, your fight-or-flight instinct may not necessarily lead you in the right direction. Maybe you want to stop, hold your ground, and think things through. Much will depend on whether you like your vision enough to give yourself to it. Half-hearted pursuits go nowhere and only waste everyone’s time. So, find out as much as you can—about the potential project and about yourself. Nothing needs to happen all at once, so long as your progress is thought through and steady enough to bolster your confidence.

Do you remember, when you were three feet tall, how your parents made nicks on the door jamb every time you grew an inch? The analogy may seem infantilizing now, but in principle it’s useful. You got excited as you grew. Seeing your progress was encouraging.

So, as you start out in leadership, it’s helpful to keep a record of what you achieve—maybe in a dedicated diary, maybe on a spreadsheet. You can literally track how you’re doing—i.e., how many new customers, new leads, new hires. In effect, you can make your own case for becoming a leader. If you remain unconvinced, well, at least you’ll have evidence (provided, of course, that your timetable is reasonable).

QOSHE - Are You a Natural Leader? - Ahron Friedberg M.d
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Are You a Natural Leader?

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07.01.2024

Some people just know, early on, that they want (or need) to be leaders in some area of commercial or civic life. Think, for example, of Barack Obama, who overcame many challenges to eventually become our 44th U.S. President. For them, the question is only how to get there, given their unique challenges. They struggle, of course, and their concept of leadership may evolve over the trajectory of their personal growth. But very early in their careers, they know that some form of leadership is right for them.

That is, their vision of themselves is founded in taking charge, and in directing a group that is larger than themselves. These people have the “leadership gene,” a drive to run things that is sufficiently credible to themselves so that, once they begin to pursue their vision, they never look back. They’re naturals. If they had applied to West Point, it would have been in character.

Part of Obama’s story became a hit movie, Barry, about his life at Columbia University. It captured an era of social injustice in which he overcame racism and other obstacles. But on an individual level, it examined how leaders naturally emerge and shape the times they live in. It’s as if natural leaders know how to move fast and what things to discard, even when not every decision is optimal. They........

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