Who knew that Sam Allardyce was at the forefront of change?
It was 2016 - the year of the Brexit referendum - and the then-England manager was captured in undercover footage as part of an investigation into corruption in football. Sitting in a Chinese restaurant, 'Big Sam' had a pint glass containing a liquid which looked suspiciously like white wine as he appeared to make a variety of indiscreet and controversial comments to undercover reporters.
In reality, he may have been sipping a disappointingly flat pint of lager but Allardyce's supposed choice of drink captured the internet's imagination, inspiring plenty of jokes on Twitter. Yesterday (December 27), after seven years of waiting, the government made a drink which will forever be associated with the former Everton boss a reality.
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In 2024, pints of wine will be stocked on Britain's shelves for the first time ever, in a move the government said is emblematic of "new freedoms" afforded by the country's departure from the European Union. So, it was all worth it then.
A press release issued by the government said: "Brits will soon be able to purchase ‘pint’ sized bottles of still and sparkling wine, as a new 568ml size is introduced to Britain’s supermarket shelves, pubs, clubs and restaurants, the Department for Business and Trade has announced today (27th December). The move to introduce the 568ml size would sit alongside the 200ml and 500ml measures already available, offering more flexibility and choice for customers."
You may be wondering what on earth the point is. Standard bottles of wine are currently 750ml, which is about a medium glass more than a pint. If you want a pint of wine, you can just pour one yourself.
For the more careful, a large glass of wine tends to be around 250ml - a third of a bottle. You can still find half bottles of wine at 375ml on shelves and manufacturers can sell 500ml bottles of still wine if they wish.
So, this grand announcement represents a bottle which contains 68ml more wine than an already available size. What a tremendous use of everyone's time that is.
Admittedly, WineGB - the association of wine makers in this country - has welcomed the move. In a rather muted quote found towards the end of the government's press release, WineGB CEO Nicola Bates said: "We welcome the chance to be able to harmonise still and sparkling bottle sizes and we are happy to raise a glass to the greater choice that allows UK producers for domestic sales."
The idea of pints of wine appears to be part of a wider Conservative agenda to embrace the imperial system. However, a recent government consultation showed that nobody really wants that - 99% of people surveyed by the government supported keeping metric measurements.
Essentially, the government wanted to bring imperial measures back, the public didn't want that, so now they get a pint of wine. Whether consumers will welcome the addition of another wine size remains to be seen.
Not since my student days have I thought that a pint of wine is a good idea or in any way necessary. Whether wine producers want to produce yet another bottle size is also up in the air.
Irrespective of that, it makes yet another mockery of Brexit that this - a new size of wine bottle - is being heralded by a floundering government as demonstrative proof of the 'freedom' that Britain can now enjoy. Whether you agree with them or not, millions of people voted to leave because they wanted change to the status quo - this is the change they get.
In a particularly galling quote about this development, Minister for Enterprise, Markets and Small Business Kevin Hollinrake said: "Innovation, freedom and choice – that’s what today’s announcement gives to producers and consumers alike. Our exit from the EU was all about moments just like this, where we can seize new opportunities and provide a real boost to our great British wineries and further growing the economy."
That's right. Brexit and the years of negotiation that followed all comes to this - pints of wine.
According to those who campaigned for Britain's departure from the European Union, the move was meant to result in more NHS funding, thriving trade deals and higher wages. At a time when the NHS is facing pressures like never before and people up and down the country are struggling to keep pace with a cost of living crisis and battling an economy left in pieces, those supposed benefits could really have helped.
In reality, Brexit is delivering what we've always wanted - slightly smaller bottles of wine. That's how you take back control.
Drink enough of them and you might forget what a state this country is in.
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