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Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues--everything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.
Here's a roundup of answers to four questions from readers.
1. Should I tell job candidates we don't give raises?
My organization recently replaced merit increases with capped bonuses. While I think this is a bad policy and I'm pushing back on it, in the meantime I'm concerned about my responsibility to new hires. I would never have thought to ask about this as a candidate. I'm hiring a new junior staff person, who will likely be a young woman, given our field. I want to be upfront about growth potential and tell them about our policy. However, I'm also really concerned that we will lose top candidates and I desperately need to fill this position. How do I balance equity and transparency with hiring top talent? Can I, given this policy?
Green responds:
It's a terrible policy, and it's going to turn off good candidates, who will have other options (like accepting a job that doesn't freeze their salary at the level they come in at). But I do think you need to be upfront about it, since it's a significant factor in how the new hire's compensation will work, and people are actually likely to feel better about it if they know from the start rather than having it sprung on them afterward.
Will it destroy your ability to fill the position? Probably not. You'll lose some strong candidates, but you'll probably find decent ones who are willing to take the job -- they'll just plan to stay only a couple of years max, so that they're not as affected by it as they would be if they were there long-term.
2. My co-worker comments on my appearance -- a lot
I have a colleague, Brenda, who is a lot older than me and tends to comment on my appearance. A lot. Usually, it's that she thinks I'm dressed too hot or too cold for the weather, but the other day she commented on my dress's "plunging neckline" (it wasn't) and how flattering it was, and that I should show off my figure more often.
I know she's coming from a motherly place and probably thinks she's flattering me, but I find it not only annoying, but uncomfortable. How do I get her to stop without alienating her? She's kind of moody to begin with. Should I just suck it up? I just can't imagine saying anything about someone's appearance other than "love that outfit!"
Green responds:
Often people do suck up this kind of behavior because they feel awkward pushing back against it -- but Brenda has crossed the line from annoying into utterly inappropriate. She 100 percent should not be commenting on "plunging necklines" or telling you to show off your figure(!).
Even before the latest comment, it would been perfectly fine for you to say, "You comment on my clothes a lot, and I'd rather you didn't." You can definitely say that now. And if you get any more line-crossing comments from her, you should look visibly shocked and say, "Wow, that makes me really uncomfortable. Let's not talk about my body or my clothes." In fact, you'd have standing to be even more direct than that if you want to -- as in, "that's inappropriate, please stop" -- but if you're more comfortable with the slightly softer language, it's likely to still get the message across.
3. Taking unpaid vacation to "save" paid vacation for later
I wear the HR admin hat for a small business. Recently, a couple of young employees who had never had a job with paid vacation before asked if they could take a few days of vacation as unpaid time to "save" their paid vacation days for later. We have a "use it or lose it" vacation policy, so it's not like they can bank days for future use.
Is it OK to put in our policies that if employees have paid vacation days available, they are required to use them up first, before they can ask for unpaid time off? Generally, I want to pay people for what they have earned, and it feels really strange to be asked for unpaid vacation when someone has it available!
Green responds:
It's very normal to have people take their paid vacation days before you consider offering unpaid vacation days.
In fact, in many organizations, unpaid vacation time isn't really an option except in unusual circumstances; the idea is that you've planned your staffing levels on the assumption that, other than paid leave, people will be at work the rest of the time. (Of course, reasonable employers make exceptions when needed.)
So yes, you can require people to use up accrued vacation days first. And it might be helpful to explain the staffing levels concept to them as well, so they understand the reasoning behind the policy.
4. My client implied my work is so easy and fun that I shouldn't need to unplug
I am a freelance marketing consultant in an industry that many consider to be "fun." My work involves photographing wine and food and helping promote the delicious offerings of my clients. I realize that, to an outsider, what I do can appear more enjoyable than work-like. And it is enjoyable! However, I work hard, track extensive analytics, and balance multiple clients' needs and demands. While I love what I do, it's still work, and it's not always easy, despite the "fun" nature of what I'm marketing.
Can you help me find the right phrasing to respond to a client's email that rubbed me the wrong way? He emailed me over the weekend to confirm that a deliverable was approved and could be published. I responded first thing Monday morning, thanking him for his patience, explaining that I make a point to unplug over the weekend, and that the deliverable was now scheduled. In response, he ("jokingly") said, "Yes, it must be so exhausting drinking wine and eating... just kidding." As if what I do is all fun and would create no reason to need to unplug! This "joke" was not funny to me and seems to belittle the entire business I have created for myself. Should I gently correct his perception of what I do? Am I being too defensive here and should let it go?
Green responds:
Yep, you're in a line of work where some people will assume it's all fun and pleasure, or at least will make annoying jokes about that. But if you try to correct or educate them every time, you'll risk seeming a little like a stick-in-the-mud. Most of these comments are people's lighthearted fantasizing about what having a job involving eating and drinking would be like, and don't reflect serious, considered viewpoints about what you really do. It's annoying, but it's going to come with the territory.
So yes, let it go! If it it starts to seem like he genuinely takes issue with you not working over the weekends, you can address it at that point -- but for now assume it was just a silly comment that doesn't require a serious response.
Want to submit a question of your own? Send it to alison@askamanager.org.
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