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Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues--everything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.

Here's a roundup of answers to three questions from readers.

My company hired a new employee more than three months ago. She accepted the offer and was due to start work in a week. Today she emailed us to say she wants "to take her career in another direction." One week prior to start date and for us three full months when we could have been searching. Even worse, no phone call, no apology for wasting our time. Any advice on how to regroup and to lessen the likelihood of this happening again, other than baying at the moon and tearing my hair out?

Green responds:

It happens. If you hire enough people, eventually someone's going to back out of an offer they'd previously accepted; that's just how it goes. People get better offers, or change their minds, or their circumstances change. It's worth looking back at the hiring process to see if in retrospect you notice any signs you should have paid more attention to (so you can learn from them for the future), but sometimes this just happens.

That said, when you hire someone with a far-off start date, it's smart to keep in touch with them during that time. Not oppressively frequent contact, obviously, but checking in every few weeks, sending them an article that might interest them, sending benefits info, inviting them (without pressure) to events, etc. But even when you do that, sometimes someone will back out anyway.

It's also worth reflecting on whether your work conditions might have played a role in her decision. Did she learn something after she'd accepted the offer that gave her pause? How are your Glassdoor reviews? What's your culture like? But if this was a one-time thing and not a regular occurrence, it's likely just one of those frustrating things that sometimes happen.

My father keeps responding to my employee's political posts on Facebook. My father is very conservative and my employee is very liberal, so you can guess that their opinions go together like oil and water. I feel that it is inappropriate for my father to be interacting with someone I supervise, and I asked him to stop. He feels that Facebook is a public forum, and that the fact that I supervise someone should not deny his right to respond to a public post.

(Before I became this person's manager, I was friends with him on Facebook. When I became his manager, I did not unfriend him, just stopped interacting on his posts, and let him know I'd be doing that. At some point, though, he and my father friended each other, but it was almost certainly because they were both connected to me. I realize now I should have completely cut the Facebook connection/unfriended this employee at the beginning. Lesson learned!)

While the posts in question are political, I would feel uncomfortable with my father interacting with any of my employees over Facebook, no matter how innocuous the topic. It feels like it crosses boundaries. Should I mention to my employee that he is welcome to block my father if he wishes? Or should I stay out of it because Facebook is a public forum, and this is outside and unrelated to work?

For some context: The employee knows this is my father. My father is retired and has no relationship at all to my workplace. My employee has never mentioned my father's Facebook responses at work.

Green responds:

Aggggh, what is your father doing?! Personally, if my parent were doing this, I would seriously consider sneaking on to their computer and unfriending the employee, but assuming that's not an option and you know a harder line stance with your dad would be fruitless, then yes, say something to your employee. I'd say, "I'm so sorry about my father's comments on your Facebook posts. I have no idea how you two ended up connected, but it's incredibly weird that he's doing that. Please feel free to unfriend or block him."

If he says he doesn't feel the need to, it might be worth telling him that you're going to unfriend him so you're not getting riled up by your dad's comments and not to take it personally since you should have done that when you became his manager anyway. Say this all in a warm tone and it should be fine.

I manage a small team and am ready for a change. A job opened up that I think might be a good fit. I'm a bad and unpracticed networker, but I would like to try anything I can to gain a little leverage.

One of the people I supervise is married to someone who works at this organization. I don't think there would be much contact with him in the position in question, but he represents a foot in the door for me, so to speak. What do you think about my reaching out to the person I supervise to ask her to put me in touch with him? I'm hesitating, in part because I don't think it's a great idea to get the word out among my team members and others at my organization that I'm looking at other jobs. The person I manage is also friendly with my current manager, so there's a chance the word will spread in that direction too. Any advice?

Green responds:

Don't do it! You manage the person you'd be asking for this favor, which means there's inherent pressure on her to say yes; the power dynamics there aren't good ones. Plus, letting someone on your team know you're looking before you've announced it publicly puts her in a bad position; now she has to wonder when your departure might be coming and what it might mean for her and the rest of your team. She'll also be burdened with the knowledge that you presumably don't want her to share, without being able to truly agree to that first. And if it does get back to your manager, it won't look great that you put one of your employees in that position.

One of my clients hires a lot of people in my field. About a year ago, he was looking for more people so I asked someone I know (Jane) if she would be interested. She said yes so I connected them by email, with my own recommendation of her skills. My client said he'd like to see her resume. She replied saying he could check out her LinkedIn profile. He did not respond to that email, but sent me a message that said, "I don't ask for much, but I like a resume." I emailed Jane and told her she needed to send a proper resume, but Jane said resumes don't matter anymore, it's all about LinkedIn. Suffice to say, she was not hired.

This episode didn't affect my relationship with my client. But now I know someone else I'd like to recommend and I'm hesitant because I worry this freelance client won't take it seriously because of how my other recommendation went. I worry that any recommendation I make now will be tainted by Jane not taking the opportunity seriously. What's your take?

Green responds:

Did you talk to your client about the Jane situation at the time and say anything to indicate you agreed she was being weird -- i.e., anything to distance yourself from the behavior? If so, I think you're fine here. Your client knows you're professional and reasonable from working with you, and having one candidate recommendation turn strange isn't a big deal.

Even if you didn't say anything about it at the time, you're still probably fine here (because, again, it was just one time) -- assuming, of course, that you know this new person and her work well enough to truly vouch for her. But you could even make a joking reference to it when you email him, like "I promise this one will send you a resume." (And you could verify that with the person you're referring ahead of time if you have any doubt.)

Want to submit a question of your own? Send it to alison@askamanager.org.

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My New Hire Backed Out Before Their First Day

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03.04.2024

Just 1.2 Million U.S. Businesses Have Complied With the 2021 Corporate Transparency Act. The Treasury Is Pleased Wi...

José Andrés' World Central Kitchen Suspends Operations in Gaza After 7 Workers Are Killed

Despite Stubborn Inflation, Small Business Owners Are Gaining Confidence in the Economy

What the 'Right to Disconnect' Could Mean for California Employers

Workers Crave Career Growth. Employers May Not Be Paying Attention

Why Chipotle Made Its Own Video Game to Give Away $1 Million Worth of Burritos

Lab-Grown Meat Could Be Banned in Several States. Here's Why

Inc.com columnist Alison Green answers questions about workplace and management issues--everything from how to deal with a micromanaging boss to how to talk to someone on your team about body odor.

Here's a roundup of answers to three questions from readers.

My company hired a new employee more than three months ago. She accepted the offer and was due to start work in a week. Today she emailed us to say she wants "to take her career in another direction." One week prior to start date and for us three full months when we could have been searching. Even worse, no phone call, no apology for wasting our time. Any advice on how to regroup and to lessen the likelihood of this happening again, other than baying at the moon and tearing my hair out?

Green responds:

It happens. If you hire enough people, eventually someone's going to back out of an offer they'd previously accepted; that's just how it goes. People get better offers, or change their minds, or their circumstances change. It's worth looking back at the hiring process to see if in retrospect you notice any signs you should have paid more attention to (so you can learn from them for the future), but sometimes this just happens.

That said, when you hire someone with a far-off start date, it's smart to keep in touch with them during that time. Not oppressively frequent contact, obviously, but checking in every few weeks, sending them an article that........

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