The news, even that about the Golden Bachelor, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

They’ve decided to spend more time with their true loves. So, they’ll be alone.

Weisselberg returns to Riker’s so often he ought to apply for a ‘Doing Timeshare …’

Thankfully, nobody was harmed because they didn’t put it on autopilot.

… Mostly, to accept a giant stuffed animal for the good shooting.

It must be serious — it was on a school night.

Arizona doesn’t change their clocks, which explains why they’re now stuck in 1864.

Making it far more mature than most of its opponents.

… Not if the person you’re with has their spouse show up unexpectedly.

If Truth Social drops below 18, you know Matt Gaetz’ll be really attracted to buy!

Dave’s gone from special in Late Night to the early bird special.

Ironically, they’re now going to wind up in the joint.

OJ is now looking for Nicole and Ron’s killer in a place that’s even warmer than Florida.

… Unless he’s bumped by Jay Leno.

… Talk about not grasping the gravity of the situation …

QOSHE - Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/15/24 - Paul Lander
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Ripping the Headlines Today, 4/15/24

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15.04.2024

The news, even that about the Golden Bachelor, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule:........

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